Rahul Kohli's Twitter Feed is a Goddamn Delight

By Petr Navovy | Social Media | March 27, 2018 |

By Petr Navovy | Social Media | March 27, 2018 |

I really enjoyed the first season of iZombie. It was fun, well-paced, and did a good job of balancing out the shorter episode arcs with a longer series through line.

It was also addictive as fuck. I tore through it like a pack of cheap supermarket cookies.

Unfortunately, I’ve not been able to keep up with the show since that first season, but that is entirely my fault as it seems that I don’t have time for anything these days, least of all TV shows. Well, I tell a lie. Some things are easy enough to keep up with. Quick, bite-sized stuff like Twitter feeds, that’s about all I have time for. One of the best things about iZombie is Rahul Kohli (who plays Ravi and who happens to be a Pajiba favourite), and as luck would have it, he has a damn fine Twitter feed. So while I wait in hope for the hypothetical moment when I finally have some time to catch up with iZombie, I console myself with following my fellow London boy’s 140 character adventures. Oi, Rahul, top work, bruv. Keep it up, yeah?

John Krasinski is the American Ravi…ACTUALLY. https://t.co/HikypoJnvq

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 27, 2018

Guide to speaking English in America:

Trainers = Sneakers
Pavement = Sidewalk
Crisps = Chips
White terrorist = mentally unstable lone wolf
Brown terrorist = Terrorist
Football = Soccer

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 21, 2018

There’s a little break from #iZOMBiE next week but fret not as we’ll back the week after and you can find out why Ravi shit himself. pic.twitter.com/x9p2NDpqpu

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 27, 2018

“It was at this moment Rahul knew…he fucked up.” pic.twitter.com/xXTl9fDciD

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) December 1, 2017

Sure. When mommy and daddy fell in love, the daddy put his penis inside the mommy’s vagina, he nut. The cum and her egg mixed, 9 months later a baby is born. 32 years later that baby is now an adult and his hair began to grey. The end. https://t.co/KT8qxDabBY

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 24, 2018

Damn, I haven’t got fucked up in ages…like drink all night, throw up, eat a kebab, throw up again, maybe shit my pants and wake up ridiculously early due to dehydration…will they take my British passport away from me?

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 10, 2018

I was looking for a “subtle” way to let guests know that I sort of like Star Wars and that… pic.twitter.com/sJ69FJPgWD

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) February 13, 2018

Big Texan dude stopped me in the gym to compliment my bag work. I graciously accepted his compliment and humbly told him that punch bags don’t fight back before walking away and I’ve never felt more bad arse in all my life. pic.twitter.com/j5FFwzhWOx

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 15, 2018

🎶Where everybody knows your name…🎶 pic.twitter.com/mQmRbripUA

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 24, 2018

HAHAHA best review ever. Also, your last tweet was complaining about lesbians or something, I’m more than happy to lose you as a viewer. Take care now. https://t.co/TO16hwkR6v

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 20, 2018

My IMDb page is awful. Let it be known that I have actually won TWO awards. The first was a 5 metre swimming award and the second was for “best attendance” for my IT class in 2001.

I would like to thank God and everyone who voted for me.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 23, 2018

I can’t be doing with @VICE articles:

“I spent a week shoving fistfuls of heroin up my arse”

“I spent the day shaking people’s hands as limply as possible”

“Is sex with an otter as good as it sounds? I find out”

I’m good fam.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) November 23, 2017

If actors can’t talk politics, I don’t wanna hear your opinions on art? Deal? https://t.co/Jl4vQ2gFso

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 21, 2018

How DARE you watch my work while intoxicated, the absolute disrespect you’ve shown my craft has left me utt…actually, nah, thanks for watching bruv 😘. #iZOMBiE https://t.co/EpJpYaw5mX

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 17, 2018

Hollywood done changed me. pic.twitter.com/YUtfWsHetl

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 15, 2018

94% of the time, I order pineapple on my pizza and I don’t care what anyone thinks let me live my life.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) November 29, 2017

Oh btw, The Shape of Water just finished and Dunkirk should have won best picture instead. K bye. pic.twitter.com/h4UDcwqwBV

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) March 14, 2018

This pint is to you guys, thank you for your support, likes, funny comments and for just generally making a guy feel special. Cheers 🍻 pic.twitter.com/F47Teb4Tci

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) February 15, 2018

“I remember watching #iZOMBiE when I was 14 years old, after binging 3 seasons, I realised I wanted to be an actor. My life changed after that finale.”

Daniel Day-Lewis pic.twitter.com/GoMyvfS20n

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) January 17, 2018

94% of the time, I order pineapple on my pizza and I don’t care what anyone thinks let me live my life.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) November 29, 2017

That’s the second time this week Liverpool went from a winning position to end up drawing. Fuck you, Trump.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) November 25, 2017

One thing, though Rahul, I know the chronology of these two following tweets is all messed up for them to be related but… Are you trying to tell us something? Maybe in a sneaky, time-fractured Christopher Nolan sorta way? It’s cool if you are, like. No judgement. We’ve all been there.

Needing a shit before you enter Ikea and trying to get out of their maze without shitting your pants is my favourite video game.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) February 10, 2018

I just paid for someone else to pick up my Ikea shit, bring it around and make it for me. My Dad would be so disappointed in me…

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) February 6, 2018

——-

Petr Knava lives in London and plays music