Awesome Muslim Couple Escorted from Mall for Threatening to Destroy Bacon Cheeseburgers
Look at the couple in that header pic! Come on, Arkansans! They may be Muslim, and they may dress a differently, but there’s no mistaking their Arkansan-ess. What about them videotaping in a mall feels anymore threatening than your brother Bubba or your cousin Critter videotaping at a mall? (And lest you think I’m poking fun, I had an Uncle who went by Bubba and a cousin who went by Critter growing up in Arkansas).
Anyway, Alan and Daphne Crawford — who are basically redneck Muslims (no offense) — were booted from a mall in Fort Smith, Arkansas because they were seen videotaping entrances and exits, because that’s exactly what terrorists do in order to escape notice. The two are now saying they will leave their Arkansas home because they feel threatened, as well they should: Five cops approached them for breaking MALL LAW.
“Are you planning an attack on Central Mall?” a reporter asked Alan Crawford.
“I would probably destroy a bacon cheeseburger and fries with bacon on them. Two weeks ago, when we were “scouting” out the mall the first time, we ate a load of bacon cheese fries, which ISIS would happily kill me for because I read in my book that we’re not supposed to eat bacon but I did it anyway.”
THEY’RE NOT EVEN GOOD MUSLIMS.
I kind of love them, though.