A billion years ago, in a forgotten age known as “last week,” the Momo Challenge was a terrifying online poltergeist demanding the freshly-suicided souls of children like some sort of nightmare-eyed Terminator with boob legs. Except, just kidding, the entire thing was a viral hoax that exploded into a social media panic thanks to YouTube’s shit-ass filtering process and a perfect storm of clueless police and school administrators. And I’m going to repeat that one more time for the cheap seats.
While the only solution to Facebook’s moron propulsion system is to nuke the whole thing from orbit, the artist who originally created the Momo sculpture has at least taken the precautionary step of tossing his baby in the dumpster even though it’s not his fault that online assholes turned her into Freddy Krueger’s chicken.
Via Rolling Stone:
“When Momo first appeared, it was good in a way that it had received some attention. I was pleased,” he said. “But the way that it has been used now is very unfortunate. People do not know if it is true or not, but apparently the children have been affected and I do feel a little responsible for it. I feel like I am in trouble but it’s all out of my hands.”
Fortunately, Aiso says he threw away the rubber sculpture last year after it succumbed to the natural process of degradation. “It doesn’t exist anymore, it was never meant to last,” he said (he does, however, have a rubber mask replica of Momo that his friend made for him). He also issued a message reassuring children who had been spooked by rumors of the “challenge”: “The children can be reassured Momo is dead — she doesn’t exist and the curse is gone.”
See, kids? Nothing to worry about. Momo’s haunting a Japanese landfill that’s probably nowhere near an ocean that could one day bring her to American shores. Everything’s fine. In the meantime, I knew the panic was over by Friday when my Facebook feed started filling up with Momo memes. It’s funny how quickly we can go from thinking a suicide-bird is going to hypnotize our kids with YouTube videos to Photoshopping it into anything and everything.
Case in point:
And I’m probably going to get nailed to a cross for sharing this piece of blasphemy, as I should.
All kidding aside, if any of these memes turn dank and Momo starts feeling the Bern, do me a solid and give me a heads up so I can lay in traffic.
‘Preciate it. You guys are the best.
Header Image Source: Lucasfilm/YouTube