A lot has been said I Feel Pretty since it opened in theaters last month, and not all of it has been great. Critics haven’t been entirely fond of it. People were turned off by the film’s premise just from watching the trailer alone. Amy Schumer, who stars in the film, jumped to its defense and insisted that it’s about female empowerment, and that the people criticizing the film for what they think the message is have got it all wrong.
But now, much of the discussion about I Feel Pretty has begun to die down since Black Panther & Friends (or as everyone else insists on calling it, Avengers: Infinity War) dropped in theaters for the entire world to see, and we’ve spent more time and money seeing that film as well as wondering why we’re now seeing fan-art of Sexy Thanos appear on many a Twitter timeline. (I’ll save you the trauma and not post any photos or links to that) That hasn’t stopped the occasional person from going to see I Feel Pretty in order to kill some time. One of those people, a Twitter user by the name @hayejunt went to his or her local movie theater to check the film out, along with ten other audience members. And one of those audience members just happened to be actress, writer/director of Lady Bird, and almost-star of How I Met Your Dad, Greta Gerwig.
And so @hayejunt, upon realizing that he or she was in the vocal and enthusiastic presence of mumblecore greatness, decided to live-tweet the experience of Greta Gerwig watching and responding to I Feel Pretty.
Disclaimer: I’m fully aware that for some people reading this post, the tweets and the person tweeting them come off as creepy/intrusive/unnecessary, and also that @hayejunt should’ve put the damn cell phone away and focused his or her full attention on the movie that he or she paid money to see. I get that, I really do. Gerwig and any other celebrity should be able to watch and loudly judge a bad romantic comedy in peace without anyone invading their privacy and space, and there have been many situations where I’ve sat in a darkened movie theater next to someone who feels the need to look at his or her brighter-than-the-BatSignal cell phone, and I’ve wished that I had the same powers as Bullseye from Daredevil so that I could bounce a peanut M&M off of the walls and have it hit that cell phone user in the back of the head or hit their cell phone and send it flying out of their hands. It’s why movie theaters with no talking/no texting policies like the Alamo Drafthouse exist. (Granted, the Alamo Drafthouse is far more strict about cell-phone usage than they are about its CEO overlooking incidents of sexual assault and harassment and sweeping them under the rug for over a decade, while also secretly employing someone who was recently accused of sexual assault, but that’s another topic for another day) For now, let’s focus on this unofficial episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 starring Greta Gerwig.
um I’m in a movie theater about to see I feel pretty alone and greta gerwig just walked in and sat down in front of me— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
I SCREAMED WHEN THE MAMMA MIA!: HERE WE GO AGAIN TRAILER CAME ON AND SHE LOOKED AT ME. SORRY GRETA YOU’RE IN A HOUSEHOLD THAT LOVES ABBA— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
her friends keep coming in to join her and I’m terrified that saoirse is on her way— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
1) It would’ve been really cool if Jordan Peele was one of those friends who came to see I Feel Pretty with Greta so that the two of them could talk shit about it together.
2) It’s probably a good thing that Saiorse Ronan wasn’t there to see I Feel Pretty with Greta, because if she ended up not liking it, her reaction probably would’ve looked something like this:
she’s drinking the biggest movie theater soda I’ve ever seen!!!! I always thought no one ever ordered the extra large but GRETA GERWIG DOES— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
I’M CURRENTLY WATCHING GRETA GERWIG SEE THE BOOK CLUB TRAILER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
I’m with you, Greta. I too have no idea why a group of women in their fifties/sixties/seventies would take their inspiration to live life to the fullest from Fifty Shades of Grey as if the Sleeping Beauty books by Anne Rice don’t exist.
no one is sitting behind me so I might live tweet this experience— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
there was just a bit where a baby saw amy schumer and started crying and greta LOVED it. she was the only person here who laughed— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
I’m… not 100% sure why but greta is CACKLING at amy schumer falling off the soulcycle bike? she’s still laughing and it happened a full minute ago— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
every time a song plays in this movie she dances along in her seat which is VERY relatable— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
Which makes me now wonder how Greta would respond to a screening of the classic comedy House Party. If I had to guess, she’d probably end up doing the Kid ‘N Play while walking out of the theater.
“I hate this” - full volume during a heterosexual love scene. honestly greta? same— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
Either Greta just really hates watching love scenes in movies, or she was still riding the high of seeing all those photos with Kristen Stewart looking at Cate Blanchett like she’s the greatest and loveliest being in all of existence. And if it’s the latter, Greta? Trust me, there are many of us who can relate.
she’s checking her phone! greta if you see this don’t stop the commentary I love it— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
FULL VOLUME AT THE QUIETEST MOMENT OF THE CLIMAX OF THE MOVIE: “THIS MOVIE IS IN. COMP. RE. HENSIBLE.”— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
the movie ended and she said “aidy bryant was wasted in that!” HARD AGREE— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
Spoken like a woman who truly appreciates Aidy Bryant and all that she has to offer to the world. Here’s hoping that Greta will be much happier with what Aidy Bryant is given to work with for her next project.
the end!!! honestly knowing academy award nominee greta gerwig is a loud movie talker is validating every time someone has shushed me at a movie— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
just to get out ahead of this:— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 9, 2018
- there were like 10 people in the enormous theater
- no one was behind me
- everyone was on their phones because it’s a BAD MOVIE
- she was being so loud that I didn’t even have to lean forward to hear her clearly; I wasn’t eavesdropping
@ greta gerwig: do you want to see disobedience with me tomorrow— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 10, 2018
Your move, Miss Gerwig. And you’ll at least be in the company of someone who also likes to drink an extra-large soda that is the size of a bottle of Olde English 800.
To those of you reading this post and these tweets who think that @hayejunt made the whole thing up…
I WISH I had made that thread up!! then I wouldn’t have had to sit through I feel pretty— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 10, 2018
And to those of you who really don’t like Greta Gerwig talking so much shit about I Feel Pretty (and doing so rather loudly) and intend on throwing hands with her should you ever catch her outside, @hayejunt has another message for you:
please don’t be mean to greta we were all just having fun at a terrible movie— jaye hunt (@hayejunt) May 10, 2018
So keep your hands to yourself, Busy Philipps. You have more important things to focus on like spending time with your life-mate Michelle Williams and preparing to host your new talk show.