If you’re looking for a story that affirms true love with a meet-cute and ultimate happy ending in spite of the odds…this is not that. If you’re looking for a reason to never bother with dating apps again, well my friends, you’re in the right place! Read on and have your misanthropy quota met for at least the evening.
Picture this: You’re a Chaotic Evil-aligned single gal in NYC, just trying to make it in the urban jungle of love. You have a plucky entrepreneurial spirit, bad intentions in your heart, and just enough money left over in your monthly budget to hire a security detail and event team to set up a platform in Union Square—what’s a gal to do? If you said hold a black mass and try to summon Surgat (he who opens all locks) you’d be wrong; but not out of the ballpark.
No, our lady Natasha decided to invite dozens of men to go on a date with her, under the guise of meeting up to see her friend DJ. [Note: this is literally always a red flag for a first date, and you should immediately block anyone who suggests it. Trust.] Once the men arrived, they were met with the pomp and circumstance that truly only one of the vaingloriously blessed, delusional narcissists of our time could accomplish—our gal made a grand entrance, late (obviously), escorted by a security detail to the dais, where she proceeded to rant with the passion of a newly minted fascist dictatorship regime. To win this gal’s heart, you were going to have to crush your enemies and meet all arbitrary criteria. You know, an Old Testament kind of love.
Per the article:
“And she started calling the different characteristics she doesn’t like. ‘If you’re Puerto Rican and support Trump, leave!’ ‘If you have a long beard, leave.’ Then she did a competition.”
The grand culmination of the entire affair was when Natasha “swiped” left or right on the men, going down a line, because kindness and empathy are dead.
Now, because even though this is 2018 and up is down, and Tim Allen sitcoms can be resurrected from the dead, this little stunt has been called out for what it is: an obnoxious attempt at viral marketing, most likely to somehow demonstrate that Tinder is soulless. Anyone who has ever been on Tinder already knows that, so who the audience is for this stunt remains unclear.
A guy named Rob (not posting his last name, because you know he Googles himself daily and doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of a Google Alert popping up) told the NY Post:
“We will be releasing a video Thursday that explains the entire project and story”
Ok, whatever, Rob. I’m sure there’s some grand message behind this that will justify why you treated dudes trying to go on a date like they were the ones out of line. Our guy Rob’s company was behind that viral video from 2014 where we followed a woman around New York with the aim to shock you with what it’s truly like out there for a lady. Like the old adage goes: Actually, it takes a man to tell a woman what her life is like.
Personally, I like the narrative better than some random woman in New York had enough cash and distaste for the human condition to make dating her a Hunger Games-level spectacle of the highest order. This unfortunate outcome, while probably better for the future of humanity (only slightly) loses some of its zesty disdain on the dismount.
Rob, I’m going to rate this a 3 out of 10. Next time be better (not going to tell you to try harder, because we both know you’re trying extremely hard already.)
Were you as disappointed as I was that this turned out to be a fake? Get to work in the comments. Tell Rob what you think of him (because again, we all know he’s reading this.)
Header Image Source: Getty