Blasphemous Twitter Bot Knows Real Joy Comes Not From God, But Your Dick

By Dustin Rowles | Social Media | April 30, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Social Media | April 30, 2016 |

Twitterbot Joel Dongsteen brilliantly replaces all tweets containing “God” with “Your Dick.” The hilarious results make more sense than you might imagine.

Don’t worry about recognition from people. You’re not working unto people; you’re working unto your dick.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 29, 2016

When you’re secure in who you are, you’ll be comfortable where your dick has you whether your role is big or small.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 29, 2016

You’ll never be truly happy if you’re only focused on yourself. When you help others succeed, your dick will help you succeed.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 28, 2016

Don’t go around thinking you’ll never get ahead or accomplish your dreams. Your dick wants you to overflow with His goodness.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 26, 2016

Other people may not thank you, they may not give you credit, but promotion doesn’t come from people, it comes from your dick.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 20, 2016

When you make mistakes, that’s what you did, not who you are. You don’t have to try to gain your dick’s approval—you already have it.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 17, 2016

You can’t outrun your dick’s mercy. It’s from everlasting to everlasting. Wherever you go, He’s got you covered.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 16, 2016

Every morning when you wake up, thank your dick for His goodness, for His blessings and for His favor.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 14, 2016

Your dick is not looking for perfect people, He’s looking for people who have a perfect heart toward Him.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 10, 2016

When you honor your dick, when you’re faithful, you’re not going to have to go find blessings—blessings are going to find you.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 1, 2016

Your dick is looking for people who cannot only handle the blessing but who can handle the burden.

— Joel Dongsteen (@JoelDongsteen) April 19, 2016

via Patheos