With all due respect to my friend and fellow Pajiba writer Vivian Kane, J.K. Simmons is simply not scary. And definitely he’s not terrifying. My proof? Terrifying people don’t get to play Pictionary on The Tonight Show with Fallon and Lena Dunham. Jimmy Fallon aka the nicest man on late night would never allow anyone terrifying to be that close to best bud Steve Higgins. Right?
Ok, actually that might still be a little terrifying. I was not aware that Fallon had lost the game for Simmons. And Simmons, “I’m fine” is the least reassuring thing that’s ever been uttered. I am in no way convinced that he is fine.
In other breaking news, Jimmy Fallon has almost certainly been murdered by an unnamed, terrifying assailant.