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On This Super Tuesday, Samantha Bee Reminds You The Candidates Are Partly Your Fault

By Emily Cutler | Videos | March 1, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Videos | March 1, 2016 |

In case you somehow missed it, today is Super Tuesday. Which means two things:
1) You’ll be hearing a lot about the candidates, how many delegates they need to win (the answer is still a “shitton”), and whatever stupid thing Drumpf said, and 2) You’ll be pissed off at something at least one of the candidates does.

The great thing about this election is that there’s something to piss off everyone, because everyone can be painted in a terrible light. A lying, career politician; a radical socialist; a group of barely coherent ass-bags spouting rhetoric so vile it should qualify them as a hate group by the SPLC. There’s a lot of blame to go around for the lackluster group of Republican candidates: ineffective Republican leadership, a generation of social and political corruption, and of course, us.

Yeah, we did that.

Unless you can count yourself among the 90 million or so people who did vote in that election, you had a hand in creating the current make up of Congress. This is purely to scold. I understand that it’s hard to get excited about midterm elections. “Yes we can!” has an enthusiasm that “Larry Banks for Pingree Grove Village Council” just doesn’t. Look, it doesn’t even get the exclamation point.

Except of course, the president doesn’t have a lot to do with your daily life. The laws that most affect you are written and passed by Larry Banks up there, and will continue to be in effect until he’s voted out of office and someone overturns that law, or the law is ruled against your state’s constitution and overturned. All those laws that the president doesn’t have anything to do with. In fact the only time the president really has a strong chance of affecting your day-to-day life is when he appoints someone to the Supreme Court, given that they’re the people who ultimately decide the legality of some of the laws impacting you. And since we voted a bunch of asshats into Congress 6 years ago, Obama can’t really even get that done because we don’t bother to get to our polling place unless now irrelevant rap moguls threaten to kill us.

I understand that the presidential campaign is the show, and that who we pick as president does set a political tone for the rest of the country. And I understand that Donald Drumpf is an infected cyst on the taint of society who needs to be lanced. But if you’re not interested in watching any more segments on how various local governmental bodies are trying to take away a woman’s access to abortions, maybe we need to stop obsessing about delegates and start researching who our goddamn state rep is.

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