My Facebook status on January 1, 2014 was:

Happy New Years to everyone! I have a weird itchy yeast that won’t go away, and no amount of years is gonna change it! Peace and love 2014!

I was not confessing to all of my friends and family that I was experiencing a weird underpants situation, but rather I’d consumed a few too many adult beverages and left my phone unattended. See, I have a great group of close friends who would be happy to punch you in the balls in front of your new girlfriend if they thought it would get a laugh, and one of them was kind enough to update my status for me.

This sort of phone related pranksterism will henceforth be known as “A Schumer.” Because, my god, did she do it right.

I don’t think Amy Schumer would consider herself much of a motivator, but I’d like her to know she she pushed me to learn new things. I will now be spending all day teaching myself PhotoShop so I can put my face and Katie Couric’s face onto this picture.

Sorry, Madeleine Colbert and Glamour EIC Cindi Leive, but maybe you’ll make it onto my Pinterest Dream Board next time.

← The Great Margot Robbie/Jared Leto Rat Conspiracy | Caitlyn Jenner's Powerful ESPY Speech Will Leave You Teary and Inspired →

The Problem with Sia and Her Use of Her Muse Maddie Ziegler

One Thing I Want to Say About the Death of Rush Limbaugh