By Dustin Rowles | TV | January 29, 2023 |
By Dustin Rowles | TV | January 29, 2023 |
Cold Open — The joke is that Attorney General Merrick Garland is a badass classified documents hound, and he’ll do whatever he needs to do to enforce the law, only Garland sounds and looks like a weenie. Various agents also checked the homes of other current and former White House occupants, like Kamala Harris (“oh, please Biden won’t even give her a pen”) and Barack Obama, who had 100-something letters from Lin Manuel Miranda but no classified docs. Not a great skit, honestly, but Kenan did acknowledge Memphis. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)
Michael B. Jordan Monologue — The ever-charming Michael B. Jordan talks about his first acting role on All My Children (and shows the clip), and then talks about his very public break-up before several of the female cast members try to get with him, even Punkie Johnson, who is gay. Also, what is this outfit that Jordan is wearing? (Score: 6 out of 10)
Good Morning Today — A cooking segment that is entirely an opportunity for Sarah Squirm (and Michael B. Jordon) to do some body-horror comedy. There’s no real way to describe it. You just have to see it for yourself. Warning: It’s gross AF (and yet, not nearly as gross as some of the things that Sarah Sherman has done). This is the Mat sketch of the week, in part because it’s the only really good sketch of the episode. (Score: 7.5 out of 10 (but look away)
Southwest Airlines — An ad for Southwest about all the changes they’re making this year to improve their service, like hiring only former Waffle House employees for the in-flight crew. It’s not as funny as it sounds, but it’s OK. (Score: 5.5 out of 10)
Towel Guys — Marcello Hernandez and Kenan playing Dominican attendants at a pool who hand out towels and provide commentary on the American guests. I love Marcello Hernandez. I do not love this sketch. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)
State Farm Insurance Ad — Jake from State Farm will help you with your insurance and take your wife and kids out to dinner, take the family to church, and completely take over your family in a horror-movie version of the ad. “He is not a good neighbor.” That’s why you need Liberty Mutual! (Score: 6.5 out of 10)
Street Fighter — Michael B. Jordan and Bowen Yang play characters who show up to do voices and grunts for Street Fighter characters. You can guess what Yang’s character sounds like. He doesn’t play it “hetero enough.” I don’t hate it. I don’t really like it, either. Andrew Dismukes is in the first of many Andrew Dismukes sketches. (Watch Here) (Score: 5 out of 10)
Weekend Update — Che and Jost’s political jokes are decidedly mediocre this week, but the jokes in the back half are spectacular. Kenan also appears in a segment as Che’s doorman, and he knows a lot of personal information about Che (watch here), and Heidi Gardner returns as the Girlfriend of Every Boxer in Every Boxing Movie Ever, and who has beef with Creed.
Male Confidence Seminar — A bunch of incels at a Male Confidence Seminar are shaken by the water guy (Jordan), who belittles the speaker’s forehead. Andrew Dismukes runs the seminar. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)
Bachelorette Party — Michael B. Jordan is a stripper who comes to a bachelorette party as a firefighter, but the mood is broken when his pregnant wife shows up to charge her phone and goes into labor. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)
Local Toyota Commercial — The King Brothers rage because no one can get to their dealership because of all the trendy chains and their massive drive-thru lines, which prevent drivers from getting into the lot. Lotta Andrew Dismukes in this episode, including this sketch, which ran for eons. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)
Falling Down — On his way out to host, Michael B. Jordan keeps falling, and … Andrew Dismukes is there to witness it every time. Another Andrew Dismukes sketch. What the hell? (Score: 6 out of 10)