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The One Glorious Reason You Should Have Watched Last Night's 'American Horror Story: Hotel'

By Cindy Davis | TV | October 22, 2015 |

By Cindy Davis | TV | October 22, 2015 |

***Spoilers for AHS: Hotel through last night’s “Mommy” follow.***

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I’m not flat out saying American Horror Story: Hotel went off the rails already, but last night’s “Mommy” was very different from the show we watched the previous two Wednesday nights. The third episode took a more serious tone, went heavy on the preachiness (vaccinations, parent issues), and there was enough narration to change the title to AHS: Storytime. All Kathy Bates, Chloe Sevigny and Angela Bassett needed was a big old rocking chair, their diaries, and a couple of those little blond kids climbing their laps. It wasn’t quite as awful as that might sound; some of the tales were compelling, and great actresses that they are, the ladies all did what they could with the storytelling, but performance exposition isn’t why we come to AHS — WE COME FOR THE HORROR (and the camp).

“Mommy’s” one saving grace last night — besides a few great one-liners — was the arrival of the one glorious woman who could upstage a platinum diva (meant in the most complimentary way, Gaga): the one, the only, ANGELA BASSETT. With her immediately intense Foxy Brown-ish Ramona Royale, Bassett swept into to Hotel like the queen (of B movies) she is, commanding every second she graced the screen.


And when the Countess took Ramona as her lifetime lover, holy snap, crackle and those ladies were HOT…I think my crispies might’ve gotten fried.




We got to see the fierce twosome together through a few decades.





Of course, when one makes a lifetime commitment, one musn’t be tempted by other treats (aka rapper Prophet Moses),


unless one is prepared to suffer the wrath of Gaga.


Now Ramona’s out for revenge, only she took the wrong boy toy.


“She broke up with me last night.”

But that’s okay; Ramona has another plan. She’ll just take the Countess’ BABIES.


And that


my friends, is how you make an entrance into the madhouse that is AHS: Hotel.

Honorable mention must go to the divine Denis O’Hare, whose Liz Taylor is simply killing every one-liner, and looking gorgeous, to boot.


Thankfully, Naomi Campbell is disposed of quickly, but I don’t really understand how Gabriel could be seen at the hospital. Wasn’t he already dead/a ghost?

Evan Peters’ James March continues to be a side show, and as I noted last week, he should have been given a standalone episode. He just doesn’t fit.

Other memorable zingers:

Ramona’s movie line right before she pulls a knife out of her afro and kills her would be assassin: “I don’t get on my knees for no man.”

Donovan: “I had so much fiber in my diet I shit my pants at school.”

The Countess to Will: “You need to burn so you can rise from the ashes. I’ll call you later, and by the way, you’re hard.”

Sally to Iris: “Don’t haunt my hallways, bitch.”

“Hi Mommy.” (Holden to Alex)

Sadly, we only got two songs this week, but they were good ones.

Cindy Davis, (Twitter)

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