The Most Important 'NCIS' and 'Bones' News You Will Ever Read

As many of you are already aware, NCIS is hands down the best procedural on television.

As many of you are also already aware, CSI: Cyber is the worst procedural on television.

But coming in a close second to worst is Bones.

(Note: the previous three lines are objective scientific fact. I have discovered a truly marvelous proof of this, which this margin is too narrow to contain.)

So it is significant that I was so bored on Thursday night during the latest tedious Patriots blow out of the Dolphins that I actually settled on watching Bones for five minutes whilst flipping channels. And that really was only because I thought it was an old rerun of NCIS since the late Ralph Waite was on screen being cranky.

The following realizations tumbled into my mind, one after another, in a rapid succession of profound revelation.

Ralph Waite played Booth’s grandfather.

Ralph Waite played Gibbs’ father.

Booth was a sniper.

Gibbs was a sniper.

Booth’s father was never shown on screen.

Obviously, Gibbs is Booth’s father.

This changes everything. Dustin, I’m going to need to take the next six weeks off, effective immediately, in order to make comprehensive edits to my fan-fiction archives.