Netflix's 'Unchosen' Is Excruciatingly Bad

Netflix describes Unchosen as “a psychological thriller set in a Conservative Christian sect about a dutiful wife who is set on a dangerous path of emancipation and sexual awakening when she encounters an escaped convict.” This sounds like my jam.

It is not my jam.

I set aside plans — real-life plans to spend with real-life people — to watch Unchosen. I wasted an entire afternoon on Unchosen, an afternoon I could have spent in an overpriced, overstimulated amusement park, or swimming in the ocean, or lying on the floor of a supermarket. All of those options would have been preferable. Repeatedly banging a hammer against my big toe might have been more enjoyable. Unchosen is bad. But mostly, it is boring. It is excruciatingly boring. At only six episodes running 40-45 minutes each, how bad could it be? Dumpster fires are more entertaining, and at least I could have thrown myself into the flames. With Unchosen, I just counted the wasted seconds of my life.

The logline, at least, is not misleading. Rosie (Molly Windsor) is a devoted wife and mother who belongs to a fundamentalist Christian sect. In the opening episode, her daughter goes missing during a thunderstorm — which she mistakes for the rapture — and nearly drowns in a pond before being saved by a man named Sam (Fra Fee). Rosie, who is in a loveless marriage to Adam (Asa Butterfield), feels a flicker of life in her lions upon seeing Sam, but does not act upon it, what with belonging to a Christian cult.

She does, however, allow Sam to stay overnight in her chicken coop — it’s the least she can do for the man who saved her daughter’s life. Meanwhile, Adam is torturing his brother Isaac by locking him in a room and forcing alcohol down his throat, punishment for being found with a smartphone and philandering with an unchosen. Eventually, Rosie helps Isaac escape the cult, though it means leaving his children behind. Sam is instrumental in the scheme, and Rosie ultimately introduces him to the cult leaders, who embrace him. Rosie embraces him, too. Sexually.

But it turns out, see, that Sam is not a good guy. He was in prison for murdering an ex-girlfriend who tried to leave him. He murdered another man during his prison escape. He’s found a comfortable place in the Christian cult, though, because they don’t trust the cops and won’t call them.

Sam is, to be clear, a bad man. In an effort to gain leverage over Adam, he convinces him to go down on him, which Sam records on his iPhone. Now he owns Adam. When Adam’s brother, Isaac, learns who Sam really is and tries to warn Rosie, Sam runs him off the road and kills him, framing the sect’s senior leader, Mr. Phillips (Christopher Eccleston), who is also not a good man. He’s a drunk who is handsy with the women.

Even after Rosie discovers Sam’s true identity, she feels trapped. Sam tells her that if she turns him over to the police, she’ll be arrested for obstruction of justice or something and her daughter will be taken away. Adam can’t do anything to protect her, either — not with that video hanging over him. And no one believes Mr. Phillips when he claims Sam killed Isaac, because Mr. Phillips is a drunk.

In the end, Rosie decides to leave. Adam, who is clearly gay, decides that he loves his daughter Grace enough to let them escape so Sam will no longer endanger them. Things don’t go smoothly. There’s a scuffle. Sam knocks out Adam, eventually captures Rosie, and tries to drown her. He does not succeed. Rosie is like, “I’m done with this,” takes her daughter, escapes, and goes to live with Mr. Phillips’s wife, who has also left the sect.

Adam finds a gun and nearly uses it to kill Sam, but realizes that his religion does not allow it. He can’t call the police, either, because of the video. Cut to a year later: Rosie and Grace have made a new life for themselves, while Sam — the triple murderer — is now a leader of the Christian cult.

The end. Do not watch this show. It will sap away your lifeblood. It is drab, slow-moving, lifeless, and tedious.