Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Kaleena Rivera | TV | December 3, 2025
(mild spoilers for season 5 of Stranger Things)
This summer, I spent an afternoon at the pool swimming and taking in the sunshine. When I got back home, I fell upon a bag of Doritos with an unfamiliar ravenousness, like it was the most delicious thing that could have passed my lips, and despite being fully aware of the fact that this was nothing more than my body replenishing some electrolytes through an easy sodium hit, I quickly blasted through a substantial portion of the bag. Yes, I am comparing Stranger Things to junk food, but the metaphor’s imperfect because the pleasurable addictiveness of Nacho Cheese Doritos lasts a lot longer.
Eighteen months after the events of season four—the time lapse conceding to the fact that the original core cast have long aged past high school—we see Hawkins, Indiana, is now under military quarantine after the town was quite literally ripped apart. Meanwhile, the Byers family has taken shelter with the Wheelers, and Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) is training to compete in the telekinetic edition of American Ninja Warrior. With this season picking up in November of 1987, that means it’s been four years since Will Byers’ (Noah Schnapp) abduction and, with it, a whole lot of supernatural events (not to mention a whole lot of dead people), which begs the question as to why the military hadn’t descended upon the Midwestern town sooner.
Unfortunately, begging is all any curious viewer can do because the show isn’t the least bit interested in keeping so much as a finger on maintaining any continuing thread of logic, whether it’s teens infiltrating the military or, even more puzzling, the military managing to build an entire base within the Upside Down. The “why” of everything is too much to keep straight, which is only exacerbated by creators Matt and Ross Duffer’s desire to increase the show’s scope far beyond season one’s intimate and more tightly-crafted story.
Even if one successfully sets aside the real world logic—it’s absurd but the thought of Eleven removing her sneakers to quietly make a massive long-distance leap onto a metal roof has permanently lodged itself into my brain—by wholesale accepting the show’s endless sequences of plans delivered over unfolded maps by characters who’ve undergone a trajectory of acquired skills on par with The Fast & The Furious franchise, the fantasy aspect is messier than ever. Both the previous and current season have made it abundantly clear that Will often unwittingly operates as a spy for Vecna (Jamie Campbell Bower), which is why it’s more than a little confusing as to why the gang at one point chooses to whisk away a potential new victim to a super secret location…with Will in tow. Luckily for them, in between seasons Vecna has apparently upgraded from being a serial killer to merely abducting kids instead.
But for all the jokes and (not inaccurate) criticism behind how terribly long the show’s taken to make (fun fact: HBO’s hit series Succession premiered and ended during Stranger Things’ entire run), I can’t help but admit that the length of time may have worked in the show’s favor in terms of anticipation levels. Despite my ever-increasing incredulity (a portal between worlds covered by a metal plate, really?) and the tedium of ‘the gang makes a plan that fails to varying degrees’ formula that thoroughly sets in by episode four, there’s no point in pretending I’m not going to watch. Because at the end of the day, the power of the zeitgeist combined with my immense curiosity—even if it’s with the show’s many shortcomings, like how VFX shots of Vecna in episode four call to mind 1999’s The Mummy despite the show’s eye-watering budget—assures that I will not only watch, but I’ll do it in timely manner. We’ll be able to calculate exactly how many hours that’s going to be once the rest of season blocks are released, but just to give an idea, the season four finale was just shy of two and a half hours. Looks like I’m gonna need more Doritos.
Stranger Things episodes 5-7 will release on Christmas Day with the finale scheduled for New Year’s Eve.
Kaleena Rivera is the TV Editor for Pajiba.
