Connor Storie Takes It All Off for 'SNL'

Cold Open — I understand why they felt the need to bring back James Austin Johnson — the United States bombed Iran — but it doesn’t make my blood pressure feel any better. Nor, frankly, does Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, even if it is fairly amusing. Trump cold opens are dead to me. They’re not funny, and they’re not useful. (Watch Here) (Score: 3 out of 10)

Connor Storie Monologue — Storie is almost certainly the person who has been famous the least amount of time before hosting. The guy has only been known for a few months. He’s only been acting professionally for six months. I’m impressed with the monologue, though he had a big assist from two guys from the men’s Olympic hockey team and a crowd-pleasing assist from two women on the Olympic team. Bravo. That’s the stuff. (Score: 7 out of 10)

Mr. Fronzi — This is one of those very Marcello Hernandez skits, where he plays a teacher with an accent, and when he says “peanuts,” the kids think he’s saying penis, and nothing in this skit really works, but for Marcello Hernandez’s insistence that it does. Hernandez’s insistence is powerful. (Score: 5 out of 10)

The Gentleman’s Code — In a pre-tape set in the olden times, an insult leads to one man slapping another with his glove, and it escalates from there in a classic absurd-style SNL sketch. How dare you! (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Ice Skating — A guy proposes to his girlfriend at an ice skating rink, but she says no, and all the guy can do is focus not on the rejection but the three guys having the time of their life ice skating at a bachelor party, where the other Heated Rivalry guy, Hudson Williams, shows up, and a very Heated Rivarly-friendly audience loses their s***. I did a little, too, and I don’t even love Heated Rivalry. But these two are a great story. (Score: 7 out of 10)

Tutoring the Cool Kid — Ben Marshall plays a dweeb who is tutoring the cool kid in math, and the cool kid is so impressed that he invites him to hang out at school the next day … and then the dweeb plays a song on his keyboard and it all falls apart. Eh. I was hoping it would turn into a Heated Rivalry thing. Boo. (Watch Here) (Score: 4.5 out of 10)

Weekend Update — Decent political jokes, then Veronika Slowikowska plays “Beth’s maid of honor, Katie,” who works news headlines into her maid of honor speech (with mixed results, watch here). In the back half, Colin Jost does a bit on Stephen Hawking in the Epstein Files that feels like Che wrote it for him, and Che delivers a real groaner about the BAFTAs but I ain’t mad at it. Finally, Sarah Sherman does what she does — plays Punch the monkey’s mom, who abandoned Punch. She’s basically Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny and tries to sleep with Colin. So, the usual. (Score 6 out of 10)

Leg Lengthening — This one was probably a better idea in concept than in execution. Marcello Hernandez (in stilts) tries to deny that he had leg-lengthening surgery despite being 8 feet tall. The physical comedy just didn’t work out the way they’d hoped. (Watch Here) (Score: 3 out of 10)

Office Dance — In an effort to raise spirits in an office after a round of layoffs. Connor Storie’s character suggests … an office dance. Like a prom, but for the office. Mumford and Sons can’t even save it. (Watch Here) (Score: 2 out of 10)

Stripper — There is a great last gasp. Storie plays a stripper who shows up to a bachelorette party after being hit by a car, but the show must go on! Great physical comedy. And yes, sure, he’s also hot. Mat sketch of the night. (Score: 8 out of 10)

Also, I think Connor Storie basically cried at the goodbyes; he was so moved by the week. I love him, even if the show was mixed.

Also, I’m not sure why this Cut for Time skit didn’t make it. The title is “Tourette’s,” and I was worried, but it works. It’s a bunch of very problematic people — Mel Gibson, Louis CK, Bill Cosby, Armie Hammer, JK Rowling — blaming their problematic behavior on Tourette’s. (Score: 7 out of 10)