Ranking the Best TV Episodes of the Week (Plus, Shows Quit So Far)
20. Quantico — I think I’m done. Priyanka Chopra is stunning, but this show is ass.
19. The League — Four more episodes to go. We can get through this, although can they please just give up on the “EBDBBnB” storyline?
18. Modern Family — I don’t know why I’m still watching it, either. Habit, I guess.
17. Project Greenlight — Jason Mann is such an entitled little shit. You’re not Wes Anderson, buddy, and this is not Rushmore. You think Anderson demanded this much when he was making Bottle Rocket for … wait a second. Anderson got $7 million to make Bottle Rocket? Well, uh, nevermind.
16. Scream Queens — I like Scream Queens, I really do, but it’d be nice if they gave us a mystery that was actually possible to solve. It feels like they’re just making it up as they go along, and in the end, we’re going to find out that everyone is the killer, but mostly Ariana Grande.
15. Black-ish — The white church vs. black church episode had its moments, but I thought they could’ve dug a lot deeper in this episode and explored something beyond superficial stereotypes.
14. Last Man on Earth — Why does Tandy/Phil have to be the worst in every single episode with the group? Can’t they just let the guy have a moment where he actually does something right for once?
13. The Good Wife — The good news was, there was more Jeffrey Dean Morgan (and Michael J. Fox). The bad news is, both the Margo Martindale subplot and the subplot with the bail court judge are wearing thin. Peter Gallagher was great, though.
12. The Goldbergs — Magnum’s mustache and Lainey making a fool of herself for Barry is exactly what makes The Goldbergs so great (notice, however, that Adam Goldberg himself wasn’t in the episode at all until the tag).
11. Nathan For You — Rarely is a show so uncomfortable that I find myself fast-forwarding through parts of it, but I couldn’t bare to watch Nathan small-talk about getting laid with those dudes in the retail store. My entire soul shriveled.
10. South Park — Until this year, I had not been a regular viewer of South Park since its very early seasons, and I am so torn by what Matt Stone and Trey Parker are trying to say about political correctness this season. This week’s episode seemed to say: Bullying sucks, but hey! That’s part of life, get used to it, and stop whining about it.
9. Doctor Who — I didn’t like much of the episode, but the conversation between the Doctor and Ashildr/Me (Maisie Williams) at the end completely redeemed the terrible lion villain (I also loved the literal gallows humor).
8. Brooklyn Nine-Nine — The third Halloween heist was predictable, but I support any plotline in which Melissa Fumero comes out ahead.
7. Life in Pieces — I was super hard on last week’s episode, but it completely redeemed itself with that subplot where Matt quit his job to be with Colleen. And holy shit! I just realized for some reason that the actress who plays Colleen, Angelique Cabral, was the terrific female lead in Enlisted. I adore her.
6. The Knick — The death of the Health Inspector is maybe the least sad thing that will ever happen on The Knick. That eye surgery, though? You need a really strong stomach to watch such a great drama.
5. Homeland — Homeland is that drama I groggily watch at midnight on Sundays after everything else that airs, where I’m aimlessly watching for about 20 minutes before it completely grabs me. It always ends up keeping me awake. The last five minutes of this week’s Homeland were a real humdinger (though, I still have no real idea what’s going on).
4. You’re the Worst — That depiction of Gretchen’s depression? Brutal. Accurate. Awkward. Funny.
3. Fargo — I really can’t get over how good Jeffrey Donovan is in this season of Fargo. Also, Ed and Peggy’s relationship is breaking my heart. Poor Landry: Forever the good-hearted schmuck.
2. The Leftovers — One day, I’d love to see character actress Margo Martindale and Ann Dowd get their own show together, where they’re just nasty-sweet to each other for an hour every week. The great thing about both characters in everything good they’re in: The nicer they are, the more you should fear them. Also, what’s up with Evie?
1. The Walking Dead — Why are so many of us drawn to misery porn? And why is it, the more miserable an episode of The Walking Dead is, the more we love it (or at least, the more it breaks our heart)? This week’s episode was rough, and yet, it also extended the terrific run that series is on (so long as we don’t find out there are shenanigans).
Shows quit so this season, so far: American Horror Story, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (for now), The Bastard Executioner (forever), Grandfathered, Grinder, Limitless, Empire. Shows I still need to catch up on: iZombie.