The Super Bowl doesn’t air for another five days, but a lot of their ads are already out (and this year will be short on movie trailers because Super Bowl ads are too expensive for movie trailers now). The thing about Super Bowl commercials, though, is that it’s actually good to watch them ahead of time, because then you aren’t missing anything at the Super Bowl parties when you go to the bathroom during breaks or because no one will shut up while you’re trying to watch the commercials! Also, you can be the annoying person who says, “I saw that ad already. It’s great!”
Here are the best and worst Super Bowl ads, so far. I’m ignoring the death of Mr. Peanut, which was put on hold after the death of Kobe Bryant but reversed again today. That’s a mess.
Mr. Peanut's Super Bowl funeral will go on in wake of Kobe Bryant's death https://t.co/iMWs9W8ziS— Columbus Dispatch (@DispatchAlerts) January 28, 2020
10. Turbotax — Not a great commercial, but more than that, Turbotax doesn’t want anyone to know that if you make $69,000 or less per year, tax software is free to use through the IRS. You do not need Turbotax, but they spend millions and millions of dollars to hide that fact from you.
9. Michelob Light — If you hire Jimmy Fallon to do your Super Bowl commercial, you’re going to get a Jimmy Fallon Super Bowl commercial. And that’s the problem with Jimmy Fallon.
8. Little Caesars — Fun to see Rainn Wilson, but this is uninspired.
7. Pringles — I think it’s awesome that Rick and Morty is big enough to appear in a Super Bowl commercial! I also think that appearing in a Super Bowl commercial is antithetical to Rick and Morty, but what do I know? I’m just a guy wondering why season four episodes stopped airing all of a sudden.
6. Squarespace — Winona Ryder, the OG celebrity crush of everyone born before 1980, stars in the Fargo-inspired ad for Squarespace. I know that corporations are bad, but I always appreciate Squarespace for how much they have done for the podcast industry.
5. Mt. Dew — Fun fact: I am one of the few people in my family to make it to 40 without needing dentures or implants! Half the reason is meth. The other half is Mt. Dew. That kind of makes Bryan Cranston the perfect pitchman for Mt. Dew, doesn’t it? Also, he’s a good Nicholson here.
4. Budweiser — A Budweiser ad called “Typical American”? Come on! I was ready to go off on this one before I even watched it. And then I watched it. DAMNIT, BUDWEISER. Your beer sucks, but this is a good ad.
3. Hyundai Sonata — Everyone is talking about the Hyundai “Smaht Pahk” ad with the Boston accents. It’s good! And I appreciate that the actors — Chris Evans, Rachel Dratch, John Krasinski — are all from the Boston area. But Dratch grew up in Lexington, and Evans grew up in Sudbury. Those are legit accents. Krasinksi grew up in Newton, people. The only time he ever used a Boston accent was when he was mocking people with Boston accents.
It’s really too bad that Casey Affleck is a garbage human because he’s got the best Boston accent.
2. Doritos — Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly listen to “Old Town Road” again, Sam Elliot comes along and gives it new life.
1. Google — Go to hell, Google! You suck! (You might want to watch this one a dozen times before the Super Bowl so you don’t ugly cry in front of your friends).
Header Image Source: Squarespace