It used to be so simple. Eat a shit-ton of chicken wings, drink your weight in beer, and watch a mess of football interspersed with vulgarly expensive, frequently irritating commercials. Oh, and a truly wretched halftime show was thrown in this year. But now, temptation leads this nation astray. It taunts us, forcing us to distract ourselves from this holiest of sports days. I speak, of course, of the Puppy Bowl.
Puppy Bowl is pure evil, people. It’s a malevolent force put on this earth to destroy our hearts and minds, a whirling dervish of destruction and woe. Also? Fucking adorable.
And so, because we can, here are some post-game videos from the damn thing. It aims to steal viewers away from the greatest American sports moment of the year. And it does so adorably… and without mercy.
The Pre-Game Show:
The Kitty Half-Time Show:
And of course, The MVP:
Gaze upon the precocious, ridiculously cute faces of despair.