Not Even Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Cameos Can Save the 'SNL' Premiere

By Dustin Rowles | TV | October 15, 2023 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | October 15, 2023 |

Cold Open — The 49th season opens with Pete Davidson commenting on the Israel-Gaza crisis, mostly to say that, after his father’s death in a terrorist attack, he used comedy as a way forward and that’s what he will “try” to do with this week’s SNL. He emphasizes “try” and having watched the episode now, I will emphasize that he “failed.” (Watch Here)

Pete Davidson Monologue — I feel bad saying so after his thoughtful message to open the show, but I have never particularly liked Pete Davidson as a stand-up comedian. This is no exception. Basically, a bit about watching incest on >Game of Thrones incest with his sister and another about an ex-girlfriend who overdosed. Despite being mediocre, it’s easily one of the best things about the episode. (Score: 6 out of 10)

Fox NFL Sunday — In the most obvious sketch of the season so far (see what I did there), NFL commentators on an SNL sketch spend 5 minutes talking about Taylor Swift, and Howie Long and Michael Strahan even argue about who is the biggest Swiftie. I’d say that the sketch is not worth watching, but damnit: There’s a last-second cameo that salvages it. (Spoiler: It’s Travis Kelce. Double Spoiler: He just says hey). (Score: 4 out of 10)

I’m Just Pete — It’s Barbie’s “I’m Just Ken,” except it’s about Pete Davidson, and though it feels about two months too late, it’s genuinely funny. (Score: 7 out of 10)

Wired Autocomplete — You know that gag Wired magazine does where celebrities answer questions based on Google autocomplete questions? I’m not sure who these people are supposed to be — the cast of a Disney+ animated series — but the gag is that the only questions that anyone searches on Google for about Pete Davidson’s character has to do with that time he shat himself on a Delta flight. The sketch is not that funny, but, if you Google “Zach Elliot Delta,” a dozen spammy web posts have surfaced since SNL aired last night to take advantage of SEO clicks! (Score: 4.5 out of 10) (Watch here)

Trudy — Heidi Gardner plays a receptionist who anticipates all the needs of her bosses, except that she often anticipates the wrong needs, but for that one time Pete Davidson played her boss and he wanted to smoke a fatty and get lost in her butt. This is what they came up with after a 6-month hiatus! Yikes. (Score: 3.5 out of 10) (Watch here)

Please Don’t Destroy — After watching a young Pete Davidson do stand-up, the Please Don’t Destroy guys show Davidson old video of them when they were about 12 years old as Def Jam comedians. It’s one joke. The John Mulaney cameo doesn’t save the one joke. The premiere is not going great. (Score: 5 out of 10)

Weekend Update — Can “Update” save the season premiere? Not with the political jokes, it can’t! What about Bowen Yang as Christopher Columbus, who “discovered” America, jazz, and the band boygenius? Nope. (Watch Here) What about when Che writes racist Black jokes for Jost? Uh, yes, briefly, anyway. Kenan Thompson also appears in a segment as Deon Sanders to talk about coaching his college football team. It’s not a great segment, but Kenan is so goddamn infectious. (Score: 5 out of 10)

Marley — Bowen Yang plays a character in a Star Trek-like parody who returns to his old ship during the middle of a battle and reminiscences about how “I used to work here,” which is a phrase he uses no less than 10 times in this sketch. “Hi! I’m Marley. I used to work here!” The point is that it’s supposed to be annoying, but also, it’s really annoying. (Score: 3.5 out of 10) (Watch here)

Did I mention that Taylor Swift introduced musical guest Ice Spice the second time? Wait, what?

Guy Buried in Sand — Andrew Dismukes is still on? It’s been like four seasons now. Can I still get away with comparing him to all those white guys bounced from SNL after one season? I can if he continues to star in sketches like this one, where he is on a beach buried in sand and doesn’t want to go deal with a tragic situation until someone takes a photo first. (Score: 2.5 out of 10) (Watch here)

Glamgina — Sarah Squirm is a patient on an OBGYN table showing off her make-up “for her other face,” and them most of the other women on the cast appear to promote Glamgina. And yes, it does work on your booty hole. I’m sorry, Mat. This is the best I can do for the Mat sketch of the week. (Score: 4 out of 10)

Feet Pics — It’s Dismukes again! He and Pete Davidson are characters in a bar bragging about how they quit their jobs working for the man at the factory and now make 3 figures a week taking pictures of their feet and uploading them onto the Internet. Woof. (Score: 3 out of 10) (Watch Here)

Also, someone messed up because the sign-off is like 3 minutes long.