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"No Touching Just Makes It Hotter." Highlights from NBC's Thursday Night Comedies

By Sarah Carlson | TV | January 27, 2012 |

By Sarah Carlson | TV | January 27, 2012 |

Winner of the night was “30 Rock” for its use of Abraham Lincoln, Teenagers huffing other teenagers, Kathy’s calming box, Magelical the Unicorn, Martin Luther King Day, the Phillie Phanatic and a “Hunger Games” reference.

YoungJack.png“30 Rock,” “Idiots Are People Three!”
The return of Devon Banks is always glorious, and with Jack on his game (handing out approval/disapproval cards) and the bonus of Kelsey Grammer, there was more than enough grandiose behavior to go around. “30 Rock” definitely benefited from its break; the first episodes of Season Six have had the show back to its ridiculous roots. Sure, I’d like to see Liz evolve more, but at least her slow journey as a subordifriend is entertaining. Now if only she could break into Stephanie Seymour’s safety deposit box …



  • Criss: “Wesleyan is the Harvard of central Connecticut.” Liz: “Yale is the Harvard of central Connecticut.” Criss: “You had that locked and loaded, didn’t you?”
  • Jack: “I’ll have you know the last man who wore jeans in this office was named Theodore Wrangler. And you, Banks, could not even carry his trademark, floor-length suede gates.”
  • Jack: “All right, you can watch me shower, but no touching.” Devon: “No touching just makes it hotter.”
  • “National Association for Zero Intolerance, or N.A.Z.I.”
  • Jack: “You can’t tear up my checks, Criss. They’re printed on Nixon’s old bedsheets.”
  • Tracy: “Idiots aren’t just strippers, or stay-at-home moms. Idiots are all around us!”
  • Jack: I did, you son of a bitch! I’m excellent at rearranging bathrooms.”

TomBowling.gif“Parks and Recreation,” “Bowling for Votes”
Baby Goose may have been robbed of an Oscar nomination this week, but thank goodness Tiki-Tiki-Tom-Tom sported a black Drive scorpion jacket for bowling, granny-style. Even Ron couldn’t fault him for that. Everyone had a nice part to play as Leslie was busy out Leslie-ing herself by obsessing over Derek, the Unhappy Pawnee Voter. His taunts let us see just how silly Ben looks throwing a punch.



  • Ron: “When I eat, it is the food that is scared.”
  • Donna: “Absolutely nothing. What are you wearing?”
  • April: “Fine, if you don’t want to donate, then don’t. Oh, by the way, I’m calling from inside your house.”
  • Tom: “Type in T-Rex for me. No no no, T-Balls. Wait, Tommy Tsunami. Nope, Tiki-Tiki-Tom-Tom. Nope, Fly Guy.” Ron: “I wrote Tom.” Tom: “Classic! Timeless. I love it.”
  • Ron: “Son, people can see you!”
  • Leslie: “Classic Derek!”
  • Ann: “Are you a female bird?”
  • Derek: “Terrible moonwalker.” Leslie: “Don’t care!”
  • April: “I wished for his happiness to go away. I might be a wizard.”
  • Ron: “I was never here, and you will never speak of this again.”

Bonus for fans of Offerman and his wife, Megan Mullally:

See more at CollegeHumor

“30 Rock,” “The Ballad of Kenneth Parcell”
Dustin almost got his wish for Kenneth the Page to be no more, at least in some sense. But no, “30 Rock” won’t give up on the goofy hillbilly, no matter how unnecessary he is to the story. He still gets a few good lines, and has Steve Earle singing his theme song, but he’s still no match for the craziness of Jenna. She’s bigger than Maulik Pancholy on “Whitney!” (He was so much better as Jack’s assistant.) Her fight with Liz was familiar territory, but what the show lacks in unique plots it more than makes up for in jokes.





  • The cast of Martin Luther King Day: Liam Neeson, Amy Adams, Hugh Grant, Vince Vaughn, Emma Stone, Nick Cannon, Kristen Bell, John Krasinski, Andrew Samberg, Jenna Maroney, Matthew McConaughey, Ian McKellan, Lynndie England, Pinko From The “Price Is Right,” Inflatable Tube Man, the 1995 Quebec Nordiques, R2-D2, That Flight Attendant That Went Crazy, and Mankind.
  • Liz: “Now who’s in charge, winter dryness?!”
  • Jenna: “You know with my fecalist in jail, I can eat whatever I want.”
  • Jenna: “It’s like I’m in a cage, and not the fun kind where you dance while UFC football recruits throw hot coins at you.”
  • Kenneth: “Well then I know about another story that turned out to be true. It’s about a virgin who gave birth to a man who had some funny ideas. That virgin was my sister, and her son, Lyle, has a learning disability.”
  • Liz: “Yeah, ‘cause I really wanted to talk to the girl who was wrestling in a kiddie pool full of lube.” Jenna: “Well what were you even doing at that bachelor party?” Liz: “Derek thought I was a guy and I didn’t want to ruin what was happening between us!”
  • Liz: “Let me imagine how Peeta Mellark looks and how his arms smell of bread!”
  • Tracy: I already have a room full of old black women!
  • Jack: You thumb with a wig!