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NASCAR's Fat Load Cafe Is a Goldmine

By Dustin Rowles | TV | December 3, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | December 3, 2010 |


Community (Grade: B+ for unexpected sweetness)

  • “I broke my legs, not my gender.”

  • “I wanna bathe in manhood.”

  • “Something something something Starfighter something something ‘Farscape.’”

  • “Do they have the rules to high-maintenance poseur drinking at L Street?”

  • “I had some bad years. With a chaser.”

    30 Rock (B for the “I am a Protein” Speech)

  • “Well, the theme business model does work. NASCAR’s Fat Load Cafe is a goldmine.”

  • “Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you’re not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something’s wrong.”

  • “I got other ideas, like a microbrewery that also serves frozen yogurt. I’m going to call it Microsoft.”

  • Is Kenneth your therapist? He can’t handle that. Look at his head shape. He has no brain pain.”

  • “I once ate an entire witch. A pig was nothing.”

  • “Proteins give energy to heroes who turn in Communists!”

  • “A parent is the one person who is supposed to make their kid think they can do anything. Says they’re beautiful even when they’re ugly. Says they’re smart even when they go to Arizona State.”

    The Office (C, saved from a D+ by a nice Dwight moment in the end)

  • “Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.”

    Outsourced (F, for football/shitting analogy; F- for Indian food/shit analogy; F+ because at least it was delivered by Deidrich Bader)

  • *crickets*





    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.