Last night’s episode was all about how the gang lost their virginity.
When it opened, it looked like Nick and Jess were over.
But then everyone started telling their virginity stories. We found out, for instance, that Mick Jagger stamped Cece’s V-Card, which elicited an excited, but confused reaction from Schmidt.
Fat Schmidt’s virginity losing experience involved lubricant. A LOT OF IT.
But it was for a good cause.
Nick was impressed.
Jess had a long convuluted story about losing her virginity, which began at prom, and ended up with her with the guy from MTV’s Teen Wolf stuck in a kid castle, where the guy confessed that he realized it wasn’t the anti-depressants that were softening his shrinky, it was his gayness.
Anyway, Winston lost his virginity to a prostitute procured by Nick’s father, which reminded Nick of some advice his old man gave him: “Don’t think about it.”
Nick didn’t think about it.
What’s that, Schmidt?
Yeah it is. This is what’s going on in Nick’s brain.
This is what’s going on in Jess’ head.
And this is what’s going on inside of Schmidt’s brain.