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Holly Saves "The Office," Abed Saves Christmas

By Dustin Rowles | TV | December 10, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | December 10, 2010 |

Community (Rating: A, maybe the best half hour of Christmas-themed television since “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”)

  • “That’s how I knew it was a special Christmas. We’ve entered a whole new medium. “

  • ♫”Sad quick Christmas song.”♫

  • “Now that you’ve started it, how about ten more seconds on that button, eh?”

  • “We’re in Outer Christmas space. There’s planet holly. And planet jolly. “

  • “Everybody stay perfectly sincere. Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm … Wow. Somewhere out there, Tim Burton just got a boner. “

  • “Do you have any idea what you’re doing? … We’re learning to teleport and we’re helping our friend find the meaning of Christmas. “

  • “It’s the first season of “Lost” on DVD … That’s the meaning of Christmas? … No. It’s a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.”

  • (Bonus Quote: Damon Lindeloff’s Tweet response to the above quote: @damonlindelof: Okay, COMMUNITY. It’s ON!!!! Now if only I had a show to zing you back. And if only you weren’t awesome. Sigh… )

    30 Rock (Rating: B)

  • “Obesity is killing the African-American community … with laughter. “

  • “Quiet, battered women! A man is talking.”

  • “I didn’t care for the Gazpacho soup. Where’s the fun in sending it back because it isn’t hot? “

  • “We all make mistakes. I once French-kissed a dog at a party to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old boy.”

  • “Russell Crowe is having an auction to benefit the victims of his own mood swings.”

  • “Don’t worry, I sent her to the East Wing — it’s very confusing. It was designed by M.C. Escher.”

  • “You’re going to see poverty. Child abuse. And a bunch of babies having a hammer fight in a dumpster. “

  • “Can I get you a cup of coffee or an absinthe enema?”

  • “I dress as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan. And you dress as former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and gubernatorial candidate, Lynn Swan. We’re two black swans!”

    The Office (Rating: B+)

  • “Thank you Scranton Strangler! You just took one more person’s breath away.”

  • “I have no feeling in my fingers or penis, but I think it was worth it. “

  • “I can’t get anything lately unless I threaten to kill myself.”

  • “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I’m waiting for my boss’ pretty lady friend to arrive. “

  • (Jim, in response to the gift he received from Pam) “I mean … “

  • “In the end, the greatest snow ball isn’t a snow ball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas.”

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    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.