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Greg Gutfeld Is King Of Nothing

By Andrew Sanford | TV | June 28, 2023 |

By Andrew Sanford | TV | June 28, 2023 |


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Late-night television is on its way out. It is a format that used to dominate people’s televisions at 11:30 PM. Now, most late-night shows are seen in clips on Youtube. Some of the most splendiferous hosts have pivoted to podcasts. The slot after Colbert, once home to the likes of Craig Ferguson, Craig Kilborn, and people not named Craig, will soon be replaced with a new version of @midnight. I give it five years before the entire format as we know it ceases to exist.

Given late-night’s short shelf life, you’d have to be a pretty big loser to declare yourself “king” of it, even in jest. I’d imagine that anyone who would do such a thing is likely a massive dweeb. They are, presumably, someone who has never known love. They’ve spent their life searching for the approval of a dad who was there but ignored them entirely. Chances are, this massive dork also thinks it would be super funny to call themselves the king of late-night in a book, the cover of which resembles 1983’s National Lampoon’s Vacation because they are devoid of original thought.

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Greg Gutfeld is the L-7 weenie I speak of. His new book, which forces itself onto bookshelves on July 25th, is the next step in his obnoxious and unwarranted self-congratulation. He’s already bragged about being on TV while other late-night hosts sit out to support the writer’s strike. Now, he’s declaring himself king because he appeals to people who still have cable and don’t know how to turn off said cable when they’re done downing their daily dose of white supremacism.

Greg Gutfeld will not be remembered when people look back on late-night TV. He isn’t even remaining in the landscape. His show will be moving to 10 PM soon. Taking a New York Times-assisted victory lap as he heads for the hills is particularly pathetic. The man is an afterthought. A smug, unfunny schmo who will lose relevance before late-night is a thing of the past. He’s not king. He’s not even the court jester. Greg Gutfeld is one thing and one thing only: an undeniable, unquestionable, indisputable, undebatable, inarguable dufus.

Just an absolute loser-dweeb.