Alas, the patron saint of White Wine and No F*cks, Kathie Lee Gifford, she of the 4th (and best) hour of the Today Show, is leaving us.
While her departure isn’t until April 2019, many of the Overlords and I are already feeling the loss to come—because who is going to get tanked at 10 am on national television and tell us things we wish we never had to hear? There is only one drunken Aunt we want to watch on our televisions—no one else can compare.
Here’s the thing about Kathie, basically all of her opinions are outdated garbage, but she doesn’t care. Remember the time she slurred her way through explaining to the Hollywood youths to stop taking naked pictures of themselves, and to just use polaroids instead?!
No? Here, let me refresh your memory.
Kathie Lee Gifford is America’s drunk aunt. She’ll get trashed, tell you things you neither asked to hear about nor want to hear about, and yes, it’s going to make you cringe inside. To make up for her regressive and outdated views, she’ll slip you some of her beverage when your parents aren’t looking and buy you that trashy perfume you asked for for Christmas, but your mom refuses to buy because it’s too “adult.” That’s the tradeoff you get.
You put up with her inability to consider other people’s feelings, and in return, she’ll treat you like gold (when she remembers to.)
So, while we still have a few months left with Kathie Lee, it’s time to celebrate what she’s already given us. Here are some of her best moments on the 4th hour of the Today Show so far…because if she was all out of f*cks to give before she announced her departure, just imagine what she’s going to be like now that it’s out in the open.
Kathie Lee Hates the Bachelorette
Hoda Kotb is clearly a fan. Kathie Lee is annoyed at the mere presence of this show. She also helpfully interrupts to explain the first name “Andi” can be a woman’s, too.
Kathie Lee Also Hates Hoda’s Best Friend Karen
Watch Kathie Lee turn a very benign segment super awkward when she makes it clear Hoda’s best friend isn’t her.
Kathie Lee Doesn’t Think Kristen Wiig Can Sing, Like, at All
This needs no explanation. She is not amused by her portrayal on SNL.
Kathie Lee on Vajazzling
Look, I’m not saying she’s right, I’m just saying she’s drunk. In fact, if you have an extra moment, I suggest you slow down the speed of this clip and truly take it all in.
Kathie Lee, Drunk off a Beer Hat, Speaking French, and Spilling Booze on Herself
Perhaps the reason I love (and will miss) Kathie Lee the most, is that if you were explaining these clips to an outside observer, their picture of Kathie Lee might be that of a sad lady with some substance issues. Which sure, on the surface that might seem to be the case—but look, she’s a damn joy to behold on the Today Show, and clearly is having the time of her life. There’s nothing sad about her. She is a portrait of a woman who’s been in the Entertainment industry forever, and she ran out of f*cks to give about the time she left Regis—she knows how to make good tv and doesn’t apologize for her methods of getting us there.
I can’t imagine who they will get to replace Kathie Lee, but I doubt they will be as much of a joy to behold.
So to Kathie Lee, I raise my glass and salute you, lady—and cherish the time we still have left.
Header Image Source: NBC Universal