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"Everybody Pants Now!" and the Other Best Lines from NBC's Thursday Night Comedies

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 30, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 30, 2011 |

Community. Grade: D+. The part where Britta spit in Chang’s face? That felt like a metaphor for what this episode did to me. The Model U.N.? An extended fart joke? A Uraguay/Your A Gay Joke? Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello”? That’s 17th episode of the season stuff, not the second episode of the season.

  • “Be careful Annie. They are ruthless … Not Asians. Women.” … “Sneak attack. That’s just like ‘em. Not women … Asians.” — Pierce

    Parks and Recreation (Grade: A-. The real key to the success of this show is not Andy and April’s relationship; it’s not Leslie Knope; it’s not the Tammys; it’s not even Ron Swanson. It’s alcohol. The best episodes of “Parks and Recreation” all involve alcohol.

  • “I’ll just put on my Star Wars pajamas, sit in my Mom’s basement, and pore over some spreadsheets. Sounds like a lot of fun.” — Ben

  • “I would guess that they would be bankrupt by the end of this … sentence.” — Ben

  • “I don’t think it will be necessary for you to speak again while I am here.” — Tammy #1

  • “I’m sure Ron will remember the meeting fondly while he makes toilet wine in a federal prison in Terre Haute.” — Tammy #1

  • “”Listen. Tammy One was my Sunday school teacher. too. She can pinpoint your weaknesses and then destroy you with just one word. And a jar of acid.”— Tammy #2

  • “Let’s do 1 more, then 5 more, then 20 in a row.” — Chris

  • “Why do you have so many guns?” — Leslie

    “This is America, isn’t it?” — Ron’s Mom.

    “Yes.” — Leslie

    “Then I don’t have to answer stupid questions while standing on my own property.” — Leslie

  • “Everybody pants now … pants, pants, pants, pants … pants.” — Leslie

    The Office. Grade: B+ Not a particularly funny episode, but one that was incredibly likable, and that’s something that the old Michael-Scott show rarely achieved. The dynamic between Robert and Andy has been pitch perfect through these first two episodes: Robert as the villain, and Andy as the earnest savior, although Andy’s anger management issues have seemingly disappeared. A couple of questions: Where’s Gabe? He was there last week, and I didn’t see him last night. And why was he there last week. And two: Darryl’s ex-wife? What happened to that subplot? Did I miss something, or did it just trail off?

  • “Invest in softer cotton, sir.” — Andy

  • “What do you think, C-Span?” — Andy

  • “There’s something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.” — Robert

    Let's Pour Some Out for the Stars Who Never Were | The "Fetch" Effect: 8 Actors that Hollywood Has Tried, and Failed, to Make Happen

    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.