Christ, the Characters in ‘Andor’ Slap

Hello, and welcome to the recap of Andor Episodes 2 and 3, arriving less than 24 hours before Episode 4 arrives on Disney+. I’m very good at my job.

Once again, I’m in the extremely unusual position of actually loving a Star Wars series on Disney+, which has not been the case this year. Andor is a thoroughly enjoyable ride, but I want to take a quick stab at the two narratives forming around the show before getting into the short novel I wrote below.

One, I’m totally not getting why people are calling Andor a “slow burn.” It freaking clips by. Almost too quickly at times. That said, one of the best descriptions I’ve seen is that it’s more like a Star Wars book than a Star Wars movie, and that is very true. The writing and character work on this show is much more dense than anything that’s come before, and it is absolutely like reading the books, which are always much more detailed by necessity of the medium.

Which brings me to narrative two: “Andor is what Star Wars should have been.” Now, we’re going overboard. If Star Wars wasn’t Star Wars, there would be no Andor. Even Tony Gilroy acknowledges the power of the original films. If they weren’t the classic space operas that they were, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion right now because the whole franchise would’ve died back in 1977.

That said, it’s a good thing that Andor is something different. It’s definitely a harder sci-fi take on the franchise, which is a great thing. If Star Wars wants to survive, it has to do more than just ladle out fan service. That’s not to say the fan service needs to go away. Star Wars can do both because there’s nothing wrong with all-ages material. It’s capable of fun and meaningful storytelling that can create lasting memories.

I guess what I’m trying to push back on are reductive Twitter narratives where X comes along, which now means Y sucks. Both can be great! Enjoy both, or whichever one you like. We’re in a freaking smorgasbord age, folks. Like what you like.

On that note, let’s dive into this puppy, so I can do this whole thing over again in the next 48 hours. Thankfully, for only one episode, even though I’m going to argue against that release strategy and all of the butt-chapping contained therein. Whee!

Kenari

In the first recap, I leaned into how the episode jarringly ends with Cassian (then Kassa) turning to look at his little sister, Kerri, before going off with the older children to investigate the dick rocket that crashed on his home planet of Kenari. People lit me up in the comments by saying it was his last memory of her, which proved to be very true. However, if I’m not binge-watching the first three episodes I have no way of knowing that information. If I just sat down to watch the premiere, which I did, it’s a weird and abrupt cut for a show that’s otherwise meticulously well done. Until I see how the first season plays out, I’m going to put a pin in this thought, but right now my biggest quibble about Andor is why the show is chopping these “mini-arcs” into three episodes instead of letting them flow naturally as 90 minute short films. You can do whatever you want, Disney, it’s your platform!

Turns out, we’re not going to be spending a whole lot of time on Kenari. As the children search for the dick rocket crash site — a core motif of my college years — the planet is revealed to be part of a very deep and invasive mining operation that looks to be abandoned. Keep in mind, this is pre-Empire, and it feels like the show is laying the groundwork for how the Republic so easily switched over to Imperial rule. As long as business is flowing, who cares who’s in charge? It’s a theme that Star Wars has explored in other mediums, and even The Last Jedi, so it’ll be interesting to see how much Andor pulls at that thread.

At the wreckage, the children hang back in the trees while one brave girl goes down to examine the crash site, which is strewn with the yellowed, diseased bodies of the dick rocket’s crew. Things go south when one of the crewmembers is not dead and starts opening fire. The kids barely manage to subdue him with their blowguns and proceed to get the hell out of there. Except for Kassa. Like his older self, Kassa can’t resist an open space hole.

Inside, Kassa gets snatched up and sedated by Maarva Andor (Fiona Shaw) despite the protests from her husband Clem (Gary Beadle). The two are ransacking the ship and in a hurry. As Maarva notes, Kassa’s clan is doomed when a nearby Republic frigate lands because they killed a Republic officer. She’s not about to leave the boy to get slaughtered. If you’re raising your eyebrow at the lack of benevolence from the supposedly righteous Republic, Andor is once again poking at systems.

After raiding the dick rocket for fuel cells, Maarva, Clem, and their droid — a shiny future toilet named B2EMO — book it back to their ship and take off with an unconscious Kassa. Thus ends our adventures on Kenari. For now. Maybe. (Pro-tip: If you want to avoid spoilers, don’t look up character names on IMDb like my dumb ass. Trust me.)

Ferrix

Back in the present, Cassian is in deep shit as an alert goes out for a Kenari male wanted for murder. The people closest to him know it’s him, but apparently, Cassian has been given strict instructions from Maarva to hide his home planet. In a scene at her apartment, the now-elderly matriarch berates him for telling too many people, particularly his countless list of lovers.

Speaking of, Bix (Adria Arjona) also caught wind of the alert and attempted to hide it from her snooping boyfriend Timm (James McArdle). That proves to be a fatal error as she blows off a dinner date to secretly meet up with Cassian to set up the buy for his super valuable Imperial thingy. (Not a dick joke. This time.) Timm secretly follows them to a bar, and in a fit of jealously, reports Cassian as the wanted Kenari male. However, Timm soon regrets his mistake when Bix shows up to his house later for some good ol’ fashioned space doing it. Like most men, he chooses not to tell Bix about his colossal f*ck-up, which maybe will go away!

It does not.

Back on Mulva-One, Syril (Kyle Soller) brings up Cassian’s files thanks to Tim’s tip. To the surprise of no one, Cassian has a record, but he’s not listed as Kenari. That becomes a moot point as one of the space hookers from the first episode is brought on to identify him. Our boy is in some shit now.

More importantly, Andor introduces my new all-time favorite Star Wars character: Sergeant Linus Mosk (Alex Ferns).

I freaking love this guy, and he’s a prime example of how Tony Gilroy has populated this show with great actors delivering characters that feel entirely real and lived-in despite the sci-fi setting. I could listen to Mosk talk for hours with his Scottish brogue about corporate forces being the Empire’s knife and stamping out “fomenting” pockets. It’s even better watching him get completely wrecked by the citizens of Ferrix as he becomes the first Star Wars character to ever say “shit” onscreen, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

With the noose around Cassian tightening, Bix’s buyer arrives on Ferrix, and it’s none other than a surprisingly gruff and badass Stellan Skarsgård. I’ve always considered him a solid side character actor, but damn, if he isn’t commanding as Luthen Rael. A name I also had to look up on IMDb because this show really hates identifying characters. Fortunately, those characters are hilarious little stocky officers with the best accents in the world, so I’ll allow it.

As Luthen and Cassian’s meeting nears, Sylar and Mosk arrive on planet with a squadron of officers and proceed to rough up the locals looking for Cassian. This includes Maarva’s house, where two officers post up while the others scour the town. In the midst of all this, Bix learns that Timm ratted out Cassian and is obviously not thrilled. Although, that will become a moot point by the time the episode is over. (Always trust your space girlfriend.) The tension starts to ratchet up as it becomes clear that people of Ferrix are not strangers to being raided. As the town boards up, the locals start beating on metal chimes, creating an unsettling racket for the corporate assault squad. In fact, Maarva seems to revel in watching the officers squirm at the sound and warns them that they should be more concerned when it stops.

Now, we get into Andor’s first dalliance with the Star Wars universe. Outside of the brief mention of Cassian’s stolen Imperial part and Maarva citing the Republic, the show has been barely connected to the franchise outside of its ’70s retro-future aesthetic. Even the “villains” are essentially a corporate goon squad acting independently of the Empire. And this is not a complaint. Andor has stood entirely on its own two feet thanks to rich, complex storytelling and character performances.

But much like Luke Skywalker being thrust into a larger world, Cassian is about to be pulled into a fight. (The theme of being rescued/abducted by Maarva is also in the air, and clearly, the more accurate parallel.) Luthen is interested in the stolen Imperial part, but he quickly becomes even more interested in how the heck Cassian has it. While Cassian fails to see the importance of how he obtained the part and is more concerned with its sale, an additional 1,000 credits convinces him to reveal his secret: He just waltzed right in and took it.

Welcome to the beating heart of Andor. As Cassian explains, the Imperials would never think that “someone like me” could walk right up to them and steal from them. But all it takes is a uniform and dirty hands to do the trick. Luthen notes that the Empire has grown fat and arrogant, and he’s now more concerned with obtaining Cassian than the stolen part. As the two go back and forth, Cassian just wanting to complete the sale while Luthen talks of joining the “real fight,” the corporate goons are now blasting their way into their location.

The two prove to be a formidable team as they narrowly escape not just the warehouse, but the entire squadron who are left to deal with the citizens of Ferrix. Citizens that have stopped the clanging and easily taken out the corporate forces drop ships. As Cassian and Luthen exit the planet, we’re left with a stunned look on Syril’s face as his first combat mission was defeated so easily by lowly workers in a scrap yard town.