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All the Super Weird Things We Learned About Winston During Last Night's 'New Girl'

By Vivian Kane | TV | October 8, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | TV | October 8, 2014 |

We all know that Winston is one of the best characters on New Girl. Some may even say THE best character, to which I would respond “What about Schmidt when he’s not being the absolute worst?” And you would agree. Of course, as fantastic as he is, the writers have never really been able to figure Winston out. (Or Coach. Or Cece.) They gave him a cat. (Where the hell IS Ferguson?) They gave him a new career as a cop (that they mention every few episodes when it’s convenient). But nothing works. He’s never reached the level of fully realized character. Every once in a while, they try the splatter method, where they just throw a whole bunch of crazy at the guy and see what sticks. (That’s the same as character development, right?) Last night there was a LOT of splatter. Winston got super weird, and we learned some new things about him, all of which will no doubt be forgotten by next week.

He has a Sesame Street fetish. He calls it a “problem,” but that implies it should be fixed. I think he just hasn’t found the right woman with the perfect combination of Big Bird knees and Cookie Monster boobs.

He has a finely tuned system of ranking his friends physically.

He has a way with creative metaphors.

He has very specific tastes in jukebox material.

He’s a big fan of the Classic Winston-Cece Mess-Around. (It’s a thing!)

Most importantly, as if we didn’t already know, we learned that Winston is mega cool.

Vivian Kane definitely thought he said “We’re just inventing code over here,” which is the single greatest cover line never used.