A Disgusted Jon Stewart Attacks the Quality He Hates the Most in Donald Trump

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 11, 2024 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 11, 2024 |

I don’t think we need to rehash the debate over on Substack this morning. We know what happened. Kamala Harris decimated, manipulated, and humiliated the former President of the United States in front of what will almost certainly be the biggest television audience that either candidate will have this election cycle. It was a drubbing from start to finish, one so thorough that Donald Trump went to the spin room himself afterward to try and salvage the evening by making up polls on the spot that said he won.

It was a thrashing. If you’re like me, you stayed up an extra two to three hours watching all the talking heads on cable news reinforce our beliefs that Kamala Harris obliterated Trump and then felt slightly discouraged by the undecided voters in swing states who sprinkle their Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese with fun dip and drink their 2-liter Mt. Dew straight from the bottle and say, “I’m still not sure.”

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It was a good night. Not necessarily because Harris convinced a lot of the humans from Wall-E who can’t string seven coherent words together and haven’t brushed their teeth since the midterms, but because she ensured that all the Democrats are going to show up to the polls, while a lot of Republicans are going to think twice before they decide if it’s worth the trip.

But here is what I do want to show you. Jon Stewart put on a live show last night after the debate, and like most of their live shows, 70 percent of it was prescripted because there’s not enough time immediately after the debate to piece together a 20-minute segment. It’s good, and funny, and Jon Stewart repeatedly tells Dick Cheney to go f**k himself. It’s fun to watch.

But in the last three minutes, Jon Stewart puts on his serious, self-righteous face, the one that says, “For the next 90 seconds, I’m not going to make any jokes.” And then Stewart passionately, angrily dismantles Donald Trump over his absolute refusal to take any responsibility not just for January 6th but for anything — Trump’s refusal to ever accept blame or take accountability.

It’s not as good as Kamala Harris telling Donald Trump to his face that bored people walk out of his rallies, but it’s awfully close.

“One thing will always be true, and it is the quality of the former president I respect the least: Whenever he is cornered and forced to face even the smallest of consequences for his own mendacity and scheming, he reverts to the greatest refuge of scoundrels.”

“As Shaggy would say, ‘It wasn’t me!’”

“This man, who constantly professes to be your champion, who says they’re going to have to go through him to get to you, will always, when the boat is going down, be the first into the lifeboats, because in that moment, he will always say the same thing: ‘I didn’t know anything about it.’”

“In any other country. That lack of accountability would be disqualifying.”