'The Walking Dead' Recap, 'The Damned': Hands Up, Don't Shoot
Previously on The Walking Dead: The All-out War went into effect with Rick, Negan, and their respective groups trying to get each other to surrender, only to end up during lots of bullets at each other as if there was an Ammu-Nation store down the road. Rick’s plan to blow up the gates and have Walkers infiltrate the Sanctuary worked like a charm. Gabriel’s good deed got him punished in the form of being left alone and surrounded by Walkers alongside Negan, who said something about pants and shitting them which really isn’t worth remembering.
THE STORY SO FAR: The Saviors are ambushed by Rick’s people who roll up on then in their armored cars and pull a drive-by, which leads to get another prolonged gunfight in which everyone just lets the choppa spray instead of converting their assault rifles to fire one round at a time and, you know, preserve the limited ammunition that they have! Rick and Daryl are hitting up another location run by Negan in order to take their arsenal of guns, only to Rick to end up in a fistfight with a Savior that ends up with him dead…and Rick finding out that the recently deceased Savior was the father of a baby girl. Morgan survives an ambush from a couple of the Saviors (his two companions are not so lucky) and he channels his inner John Wick to shoot and kill every other Savior who crosses his path. Jesus and Tara find an unarmed Savior who pisses his pants and begs for mercy, claiming that he’s just a worker who doesn’t want to work for Negan…only to disarm Jesus and reveal that he’s just as ruthless as the rest and before Tara can busy a cap in his ass, Jesus overpowers him and leaves him alive and hog-tied, much to Tara’s disapproval. Rick is taken by surprise by another Savior who sneaks up on him…and turns out to be Morales from Season 1.
Or as I called him when he appeared onscreen: “Who?!”
WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT THIS EPISODE: Negan is nowhere to be found in this episode.
(immediately moves out of the way so the Commenters reading this can do a celebratory Cabbage Patch)
Rick’s reaction to finding out that the person he killed, even if he was a Savior in league with Negan, was a father who knew nothing about where any arsenal of guns was located, but only cared about protecting his little girl. It was guilt, shame, and about a dozen more spoonfuls of guilt as he questioned himself about what kind of person this All-Out War was turning him into.
Jesus doing what he can to keep Tara and Morgan’s bloodlust in check when it comes to battling The Saviors and encouraging to not kill any unarmed combatant they come across, no matter their previous sins.
Jesus instantly being forced to question that policy when, much like Gabriel, his own mercy and compassion ends up putting his life and Tara’s life in danger.
Morgan saying “To hell with strategy and taking cover” going into God Mode and killing every Savior in sight, refusing to let a single one of them break his stride or slow him down. (Oh, no!)
Shiva, the incredibly large tiger that is able to sneak up on the Saviors without any detection whatsoever, has been once again let out of her cage to help tip the scales in Rick and company’s favor.
WHAT’S NOT SO GOOD ABOUT THIS EPISODE: There really isn’t much to write about this episode other than the fact that it was yet another prolonged gunfight that didn’t really accomplish much.
Seriously, of all the characters in this series to make an inexplicable comeback, and we go with Morales? You couldn’t have gone with…Dr. Jenner or…well, anybody else?
DOES NEGAN KILL ANYONE ELSE?: If he did, then it must have occurred offscreen because like I said before and to the delight of many, he wasn’t in this episode.
IS DARYL STILL ALIVE? BECAUSE IF HE’S NOT, THEN WE RIOT: Yes, he’s still alive and sniping Saviors from a distance with his crossbow as only he can.
WHO DOES NANCY END UP WITH? STEVE OR JONATHAN? You’re confusing this recap of The Walking Dead with a recap of Stranger Things 2, which unfortunately I am not recapping. The real question you should be asking, according to the Overlords who have been passionately debating about this since last night, is: Who’s the hottest character from Aliens? Rebecca is of the belief that Burke (played by Paul Reiser) is the bee’s knees, where as Hicks (played by Michael Biehn) can go and kick rocks while wearing open-toed sandals. Or as Rebecca put it without even needing to drink Pure Fuel (PURE FUEL!!), Hicks is bullshit! He’s bullshit!
TO SUM IT ALL UP: There really isn’t all that much to write about this particular episode. Besides the moral quandaries experienced by our protagonists and the reappearance of a character so unmemorable that he may as well be related to Ann Veal, not much happened to really push the plot forward to make us care all that much about what happens next.
And to answer the previous question of “Who’s the hottest character from Aliens?”: Vasquez is the hottest, followed by Ripley, then Hicks.
This episode of The Walking Dead was brought to you by “Cat’s In The Cradle” by Harry Chapin: