'The Walking Dead' Recap: No Fighting In The War Room
Previously on The Walking Dead: King Ezekiel, already experiencing lots of self-doubt, watched helplessly as Shiva, his large and ferocious pet tiger who was able to sneak up on heavily-armed Saviors and take them out without being seen or heard, was killed by a slow-moving horde of Walkers.
THE STORY SO FAR: Negan and Gabriel are still locked together in a trailer surrounded by Walkers, and they end up making confessions about their respective pasts and who they were before the Zombie Apocalypse while learning more about and getting to know each other more, whether they want to or not. (And as a bonus, Negan’s confession that he once worked with kids as a teacher and was also a very shitty husband were nice Easter eggs referring to his official origin story, Here’s Negan.) And they decide that the only way to escape from their predicament is to go with the old “let’s cover ourselves in Walker blood and guts in order to walk past all the Walkers without being detected” trick. Fortunately for them, it works.
Simon, Regina, Dwight, and the rest of the Saviors (with Eugene’s help) are trying to figure out what their next step will be in Negan’s absence and assumed death and who’s responsible for possibly being a mole and working against them behind their backs. Rick and Daryl butt heads over using dynamite to attack one of the Saviors’ hideouts, regardless of who gets hurt or killed in the process.
WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT THIS EPISODE: No pointless, overlong gunfights that go nowhere. Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Seth Gilliam turn in some quietly impressive work as they rely on their faith and bravado to get them out of the clusterfuck they’ve found themselves in, but still end up being vulnerable with one another anyway.
Eugene, once again reminding us that if Boyd Crowder had all of the intelligence and extensive vocabulary and none of the swagger and sociopathic behavior, well…he’d be Eugene.
Rick and Daryl coming to blows over how far they’re willing to go in order to win the All-Out War against The Saviors. No, unfortunately, they don’t fight each other in the rain and no, unfortunately, their shirts stay on during the entire fight.
Simon being as evil and intimidating and let-me-fuck-with-you-for-my-own-amusement dickish towards Gregory as only Simon can be. (Props to Steven Ogg — who looks like Billy Burke and Walton Goggins combined — for always being able to knock it out of the park with the material he’s given).
Gregory being brought pancakes for breakfast by Simon. So at least, this time, he doesn’t have to steal any like he usually does.
Seeing the workers protest against the Saviors for their lack of safety and comfort was another reminder that Negan’s authority isn’t as iron-clad as we’re supposed to believe.
WHAT’S NOT SO GOOD ABOUT THIS EPISODE: Not much really happened in this episode to push the plot forward, but seeing Negan and the Saviors sitting in the War Room and trying to figure out their next strategy against Rick and company is more interesting to watch than yet another pointless, overlong gunfight in which everybody uses all of their ammo against each other as if they’re on God Mode.
IS NEGAN IN THIS EPISODE?: Yes, he is, so all of you who have been doing celebratory Cabbage Patches to celebrate his absence these last couple of weeks, your celebrations have come to an end.
HOW ABOUT MICHONNE?: Nope.
DOES NEGAN KILL ANYONE IN THIS EPISODE?: He uses Lucille to kill several Walkers, but that’s about it.
IS DARYL STILL ALIVE? BECAUSE IF HE’S NOT, THEN WE RIOT: Yes, he’s still alive and fortunately for him, he has better luck with dynamite than the college professor who blew himself up in Season 1 of Lost.
IS JANET STILL EXPERIENCING GLITCHES BECAUSE OF HER JEALOUSY OVER JASON AND TAHANI BEING TOGETHER?: 1) This recap is about The Walking Dead, not The Good Place. 2) All you’re doing is reminding me how much I miss watching new episodes of The Good Place and how I’d rather be watching that show instead of this one. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Tahani really is, in the words of Eleanor, a sexy skyscraper. Nothing at all.
IS HENRY CAVILL’S LET’S-USE-CGI-TO-REMOVE-HIS-MOUSTACHE FACE THAT HARD TO LOOK AT IN JUSTICE LEAGUE?: I really liked and enjoyed Justice League, so despite all of the horror stories coming out this past weekend which proved that WB/DC was completely full of shit about how much of the film was being reshot, and that Zack Snyder didn’t have as much control in the director’s chair or editing room as we were led to believe, I have very little interest in shitting all over the film.
That being said: this tweet, when it comes to Cavill’s face and CGI-removed moustache, really put it best:
CGI can make us believe people are standing next to dinosaurs but it can’t give Superman a natural looking beardless chin.— Scott Stamper (@DerfelBarada) November 20, 2017
2) Cavill’s let’s-use-CGI-to-remove-his-moustache face is slightly noticeable in only a couple of scenes, but…looking at that face is pretty much like looking at someone’s dick. It’s not entirely pleasant to look at (sorry, fellas, but it’s really not. Which is just one of many, many, many reasons why sending unsolicited dick pics is never a good fucking idea), but as long as it gets the job done and provides with you some enjoyment, that’s really all you care about.
TO SUM IT ALL UP: Definitely one of the better episodes this season, even though that isn’t really saying much, and fortunately, all of the screentime that Negan got this episode helped make him a little less insufferable while reminding us why he’s the one calling the shots in the first place. The lack of (dips) dipping (dips) between (dips) every (dips) single (dips) word most certainly helped in that regard.
This episode of The Walking Dead was brought to you by “Confessions (Part 2)” by Usher:
And also by, in honor of the late, great Malcolm Young, “T.N.T.” by AC/DC: