'The Walking Dead' Is Insufferable Right Now

By Brian Richards | The Walking Dead | November 28, 2016 |

By Brian Richards | The Walking Dead | November 28, 2016 |

Previously on The Walking Dead:

Maggie punched Gregory in the face and told him to put some ‘respeck’ on her name. Sasha recruited Jesus to find out where Negan and The Saviors live, so they know where to attack. Carl and Enid went roller-skating together. And we got to see Jesus kick Walkers in the face like he’s Busta Rhymes kicking Michael Myers in the face in Halloween: We Needed No Sequels Whatsoever After The Original.

THE STORY SO FAR:

Tara and Heath are about to head back to Alexandria after two weeks of scavenging for supplies, only to be ambushed by Walkers and end up separated. Heath goes missing (and is possibly captured by The Saviors) and Tara ends up in a community entirely run by women who will do whatever it takes to ensure that their secret community remains a secret.

WHAT WORKED IN THIS EPISODE:

Tara providing some much-needed lightness and comic relief to her reactions to the oceanside community and everything she learned about it from Natania. Tara having no idea what a larder is. The scenes on the bridge in which we learn how Tara and Heath wound up separated, as well as Tara trying to escape from the gauntlet of Walkers with Cyndie providing backup with her rifle.

WHAT DIDN’T WORK IN THIS EPISODE:

Having to spend yet another hour focusing on another plot in which were introduced to yet another community who will most likely be recruited in the war between Rick and company and Negan and the Saviors, and which won’t actually do anything to push the plot forward until the second half of the season in February.

Heath. We’re really supposed to care about him, his dissatisfaction with taking out the Saviors or the fact that he’s disappeared so he can go save Washington, D.C. in only twenty-four hours?

Rachel, who is every bit as annoying as Carl was back in the days of Season 2.

DOES NEGAN KILL ANYONE ELSE: No.

IS DARYL STILL ALIVE? BECAUSE IF HE’S NOT, THEN WE RIOT: Yes, as far as we can tell, he’s still alive, so you can put your torches and pitchforks away for now.

ANY TIME-TRAVELING ALIENS IN THIS EP—(immediately sends Agent Smith from The Matrix to magically do that thing where he seals your mouth shut so that you’re unable to speak)

TO SUM IT ALL UP: If you ever wondered what it would be like if Wonder Woman was made by the same people who make The Walking Dead, now you know thanks to last night’s episode. We have Steve Trevor (Tara) who ends up losing consciousness in a huge body of water during battle and is rescued and kept alive by a young woman named Diana/Wonder Woman (Cyndie), only for Steve—I mean Tara to cause all sorts of confusion when she comes across a secret society/community populated entirely by women that is determined to stay secret no matter what (Themyscira).

That’s…that’s really all I’ve got in terms of looking for excuses to talk about Wonder Woman in this recap. Oh, and June 2, 2017 needs to get here much, much faster.

There. Now I’m done talking about Wonder Woman.

Other than that, besides Tara and her interactions with Natania, Cyndie, and her much-deserved middle-finger farewell to Rachel, there really wasn’t much about this episode worth discussing. We have another secret community who we most likely won’t see again until the second half of Season 7 so once again, it’s another episode in which we’re introduced to a whole lot of chess pieces before the game can really start. And considering that there are only two episodes left until The Walking Dead returns in February…exactly how much patience do viewers have left until that happens?

Judging from the declining ratings since the season premiere, I’m starting to think the answer is: “Not a whole lot.”

This episode of The Walking Dead was brought to you by “Ladies First” by Queen Latifah featuring Monie Love…

…and by “The Bridge” by M.C. Shan.