No, no, no, Stan! We love you and your delightful Marvel movie cameos more than Loki wants to rule the world, but after hearing your latest musings, that’s about as far as we want you to go with wacky cameo ideas.
You’re probably wondering what could be so bad that I’d wish to see a darling 93-year old relegated to dusting Iron Man’s spare suits; I’ll just let him tell you in his own words. Speaking with The Big Issue, Lee’s prediction instantly made my skin crawl.
“Obviously the people who produce these [movies] are looking to be as successful as possible. If they feel that incorporating Star Wars with the Marvel characters will be very successful, they’ll find a way to do it. Can you imagine Spider-Man saying, ‘May the force be with you?’ It may come to that!
I created the Avengers by taking many of our characters and making a team out of them. We can have as many characters join the Avengers as we want to for future movies. That might be fun, all of a sudden Luke Skywalker is an Avenger!”
If you’ll pardon my French, Mr. Lee,
I know, I’m sorry, you’re adorable and we have the utmost respect for you, but WHY, WHY, WHY would you even put such a terrible idea out into the universe? Why would you want to destroy our lives? You don’t take every single condiment you have — ketchup, relish, tarter sauce, tabasco, buffalo sauce, Vegemite, mustard, barbecue sauce, balsamic, ranch, blue cheese, dijon, Sriracha, mayonnaise… — and mix them together just because they’re all in your refrigerator! You wouldn’t do that, because no matter how delicious the individual ingredients (or a particular few that go together), the disgusting mess you’d have made would cause involuntarily HURLING.
WERE THE Star Wars PREQUELS NOT TORTURE ENOUGH?
Look Stan; you can still go back, retract your words before they cause any more damage than they already have. Or you could accept the fact that Disney is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Luke Skywalker does not belong in the same world as Thor. R2D2 should not exist on the same screen as Iron Man. The mere thought of Kylo Ren being in a room with Spider-Man is even too much for Robert Smith to bear (and dude has emoed his way through since the 70s, man).
For the love of all that is holy…
find yourself a time machine and take back those terrible words.
Now if you’ll please pardon me, I think I have to go lie down. This is all too much for a bitter cold
Monday Tuesday morning.