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What Do We Have To Do To Get SWINTON On Game Of Thrones?

By Kristy Puchko | Lists | August 3, 2015 |

By Kristy Puchko | Lists | August 3, 2015 |

Over the weekend those tricksy folks behind Game of Thrones made one of their coolest casting decisions yet, bringing Deadwood’s Al Swearengen Ian McShane into the fold. This awesome news got me thinking, who else should Game of Thrones cast before its series ends? And before I could compile a list of actors I’d like to see on the show, I realized there is only one I want—nay NEED—to join the fray. (But hopefully not the Freys.)

Tilda Motherfucking SWINTON.


Game of Thrones is like a charisma whirlpool, drawing in every British actor with a scintillating screen presence. So why haven’t David Benioff and D.B. Weiss reached out to the country’s greatest actress/ mesmerizing mystery/ SWINTON? Maybe they don’t know where to put her. In that case, we’re here to help.

Game of Thrones casting directors take notice. Your job just got a lot easier.

Lady Stoneheart

It seemed like this character’s plot line would be cut completely from Game of Thrones. But now that Benioff and Weiss are likely stretching things out to get in that newly announced season 8, this fan favorite might find her way into the cold battles of Westeros after all. And yes, I know who should be cast in this part. But SWINTON.


Lyanna Stark

The lovely Lyanna, who may have one very juicy secret that she took to her grave, could make an appearance in season six if speculation proves true and we get a Tower of Joy flashback. Who could look more regal and convey the tragedy of that moment better than SWINTON?


Barbrey Dustin

Our resident book reader, Genevieve Burgess, gently pointed out my fangirling may have outpaced my logic in these first two picks. And generously shared one of her own:

“One person that I haven’t seen mentioned yet as far as the Northerners go is Barbrey Dustin, a woman who wanted to marry Ned’s brother, didn’t, and ended up losing her husband to Robert’s Rebellion and is carrying a SERIOUS grudge against the Starks. Like, to the point where she’s actively working to prevent Ned’s bones from getting back to Winterfell. I think it would be FASCINATING for Theon and Sansa to run into her, all the more so if she were played by Swinton.”


“Leading Actress”
Actual casting calls for season 6 have offered some possibilities for thrilling SWINTON action. For instance, there’s this unnamed characted described as “in her early 40’s, she’s an elegant actress with a traveling theatre company. Fun, charismatic, rum-drinking actress in the troupe.” Fun? Charismatic? Read “rum-drinking” as “devastating cool” and you’ve got the perfect description for SWINTON.


Melisandre has set a high bar for Game of Thrones priestesses, but it’d still lie so far below SWINTON’s ethereal toes it’s almost laughable. Described as “Mid-20’s to early 30’s. Any ethnicity- she’s beautiful, intense, and magnetic.” This is too easy.


The casting breakdown reads, “an infamous pirate who has terrorized seas all around the world. Cunning, ruthless, with a touch of madness. He’s a dangerous-looking man. A very good part this season.” This role is my guess at McShane’s part for season six. But SWINTON has been known to pull off a genderswap with deadly allure.


Jaqen H’gar
He’s a faceless man who can transform and take on a countless array of visages. SWINTON.


White Walker
But not just any White Walker. The fiercest White Walker ever to white walk.


Daario Naharis
What if we made it a thing that Daario is recast every season? No mention of how he’s radically transformed. Write it off as “Westeros magic times,” and move on. That is until we get SWINTON in the role. And then let her just be her warrior self until this series blazes to a glorious, and surely blood-soaked finale.


All hail SWINTON.


Kristy Puchko is House Swinton.