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The Films of 2012: Miscellaneous Important Statistical Data

By Eric D. Snider | Lists | January 2, 2013 |

By Eric D. Snider | Lists | January 2, 2013 |

Shortest movie: A Cat in Paris, 64 minutes

Longest movie: Cloud Atlas, 172 minutes

Shortest title: (tie) Ted, 360, ATM

Longest title: The Man Who Shook the Hand of Vicente Fernandez

Least enjoyable good movie: Amour

Most enjoyable bad movie: Lockout

Movies in which Spin Doctors’ “Two Princes” makes an appearance: Wanderlust, Jeff, Who Lives at Home

Movies in which a man puts his fingers in another’s man mouth: 21 Jump Street, American Reunion, The Three Stooges, Holy Motors

Movies in which a girl’s record collection is very important to her: Rock of Ages, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Movies in which archery is prominent: The Avengers, Brave, The Hunger Games, Moonrise Kingdom

R-rated comedies set in the Boston area about raunchy, pot-smoking losers who were famous in the ’80s and who disrupt their closest associates’ lives, and in which there are numerous celebrity cameos and jokes about the washed-up cast of Diff’rent Strokes: That’s My Boy, Ted

Movies about male dancers set in south Florida: Magic Mike, Step Up Revolution

Movies in which a woman is unaware that her nipple is sticking out of her shirt: The Campaign, 2 Days in New York, The Impossible

Movies in which the size of a young boy’s penis is discussed: Klown, 2 Days in New York

Movies with supernatural elements in which key scenes take place in a Costco: The Watch, The Apparition

Movies in which someone vomits during a public performance, and then sees video of the incident go viral on YouTube: Pitch Perfect, Here Comes the Boom

Movies in which someone falls through the ice on a frozen pond: Rust and Bone, Rise of the Guardians, Skyfall

Movies in which slavery is depicted and decried: Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Cloud Atlas, Django Unchained

Movies in which human teeth are sold, collected, or otherwise harvested: Les Misérables, Cloud Atlas, Rise of the Guardians

Movies with confusing and possibly interchangeable subtitles: The Raid: Redemption, Resident Evil: Retribution, Silent Hill: Revelation, Underworld: Awakening

Movies whose titles are homages or references to past horror films: Hitchcock, Frankenweenie, Hotel Transylvania

Killer movies: Kill List, Killer Joe, Killing Them Softly

Sleepy movies: Sleepwalk with Me, Sleep Tight, Sleepless Night

Home movies: House at the End of the Street, Safe House, The Cabin in the Woods, Silent House, Jeff, Who Lives at Home, The House I Live In, Casa de Mi Padre

Colorful movies: Red Tails, Red Dawn, Red Lights, Red Hook Summer, The Grey, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, The Woman in Black, Snow White and the Huntsman, Blue Like Jazz, The Oranges

Movies whose titles are complete sentences: Here Comes the Boom, The Dark Knight Rises, God Bless America, Sleepwalk with Me, That’s My Boy, Think Like a Man, This Is 40, This Means War, This Must Be the Place

Movies that sound like they are about baseball: Pitch Perfect, Playing for Keeps, Trouble with the Curve

Movies whose titles are just somebody’s name: Alex Cross, Jack Reacher, John Carter, Anna Karenina, Ruby Sparks, Bernie, Hitchcock, Lincoln, Marley, Ted

This and that movies: Robot & Frank, Chico & Rita, Rust and Bone, Wagner & Me, Jack and Diane, Celeste and Jesse Forever, Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

Counting movies: One for the Money, 2 Days in New York, The Three Stooges, Paranormal Activity 4, The Five-Year Engagement, 6 Month Rule, Seven Psychopaths

Movies on the rise: The Dark Knight Rises, Rise of the Guardians, Moonrise Kingdom

Manly movies: Think Like a Man, Man on a Ledge, Searching for Sugar Man, Mansome, The Man with the Iron Fists, The Man Who Shook the Hand of Vicente Fernandez, The Amazing Spider-Man

Movies in which actor Irrfan Khan says the name “Richard Parker,” who is another character in the movie: The Amazing Spider-Man, Life of Pi

Movies in which the villain was born in a prison and now pursues a relentless course against a pillar-of-the-community protagonist: The Dark Knight Rises, Les Misérables

Movies in which John Goodman swept through the place, did a couple scenes, and instantly improved the film by at least 20%: Argo, Trouble with the Curve, Flight

Movies in which a man receives an HJ from a lady: Hyde Park on Hudson, The Master, On the Road

Best threats from generally non-intimidating actors: “If you insult me again, I will cut your face off and wear it over my own.” — Matthew McConaughey, Killer Joe; “Touch my friends again and I’ll blind you.” — Logan Lerman, The Perks of Being a Wallflower; “I mean to beat you to death and drink your blood from a boot.” — Tom Cruise, Jack Reacher