'Shameless' Gave Us An Episode Early. Let's Hand Out Some Awards For It

By Emily Cutler | Lists | January 4, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Lists | January 4, 2016 |

Wait, you heard, right? That Shameless has given us a late-New Year’s-but-still-earlier-than-expected present? The first episode of season six is available on YouTube, and it doesn’t disappoint.

And while I was planning to do a recap, I remembered you guys don’t care about recaps because you know how to watch TV shows. Also because that doesn’t tell you enough about how I felt about the show. So I feel happy that my favorite show is back on the air. Thrilled that Jeremy Allen White is just getting hotter with age. But mostly I feel optimistic. Probably misguidedly optimistic, but I still believe the Gallaghers can pull through. And imbued with the recent holiday, I think I can safely hand out some awards regarding/ predicting their progress. I think it’s a nice way to ease back into work after the weekend. And let’s get real, the Gallaghers aren’t getting a lot of awards other places.

The “That Is Not How Academia or Teaching Assistants Work In The Real World, And I Give Zero Fucks About The Real World”:
Lip for becoming the male version of Professor Runyon-Robinson.

The “How Could You Not See That Coming?” Award:
Debbie for not realizing that a planned “unplanned” pregnancy life doesn’t go the way you think it will when you’re 15.

The “How Are You The Only Gallagher I’m Not Annoyed With?” Award:
Frank for being the same reliable piece of shit as always.

The “How Could You Not See That Coming? Part 2” Award:
Lip for not realizing that an illicit affair with your married professor life doesn’t go the way you think it will when you’re 22.

The “Sorry, I Had To Give Your Award Away To Lip Because I Am So Uninterested In Your Story Line” Award:
Ian because Mickey was in almost every way your better half.

Pictured: The Most Interesting Ian In Last Night’s Episode

The “Why Don’t You Just Open The Vein Right Now Because It Will Be Quicker Than Killing Me With A Broken Heart” Award:
Mickey because 8 years is a long time.

The “It’s Nice To See You Back To Form” Award:
Fiona because being separated from her impulse husband seems to be getting her back to the controlled chaos we’re used to.

The “I’m Not Sure What’s Going On Here, But I Think I Like It” Award:
Carl because you can kind of understand why he might want to look for a brother from another mother. The brothers from the same mother have some real issues.

The “I Wish We’d Had Fewer Hipsters And More Veronica” Award:
Veronica because I wish we’d had fewer hipsters and more Veronica. Did you even get a line this episode?

What is going on indeed, V.

The Overall MVP Award:
Kev. Because Kev always, without fail, makes every episode just a little better. Always.