Pajiba Matchmakers: Let’s Play ‘Couples We’d Like To See’!
Sometimes, writers get it wrong. Sometimes, they keep characters apart on purpose. Sometimes, they tease us with subtext. But that all ends today! Let’s take the opportunity to play matchmaker and right those relationship wrongs! For Valentine’s Day, here are the Overlords’ picks for the relationships that should have been…
Captain America and Bucky
This isn’t just a love story. It’s an EPIC LOVE STORY. It’s practically canon now, right? (TK)
Finn and Poe
There’s still time to make this happen! (TK)
Dean and Castiel
There’s still time to make Destiel happen as well… (Hannah)
Katniss and Gale
TK: “I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL”
William and Kate, A Knight’s Tale
TK: “Why would William choose the manipulative Jocelyn, when he could have been with Laura Frasier’s blacksmith?”
Hermione and Krum
Genevieve: “Hermione gets a trophy husband who adores her and is a superstar athlete so she can do nonprofit work for the rights of house elves. I mean, I like Ron as a person, but how do you pass that up?”
Mr Collins and Mary Bennet
Hannah: “This wouldn’t have been a great love, but they could have been desperately dull together, forever. Charlotte Lucas deserved better, too. Maybe Marianne and Willoughby should have disappeared off into the sunset together, leaving Colonel Brandon free to jump novels and fall in love with Charlotte.”
Emily: “I still say House should have dumped Dolores Umbridge and married Elinor Dashwood, but maybe that’s just me.”
Troi and Worf
Steven: “Ugh with that fuckboi Riker. And they only broke them up so that Worf could go to DS9. #90sNerdRage”
Ripley and Hicks
TK: “Fuck you, Alien 3”
Andy and anyone other than Adrian fucking Grenier
We may have mentioned a few times that we’re not that keen on this part of The Devil Wears Prada, and TK has strong feelings about Andy’s boyfriend… As for other options, Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci are RIGHT THERE! And as Genevieve added, “Andy being a badass BY HERSELF is better than the happy relationship ending.”
Becca and Chloe, Pitch Perfect
Who are they kidding? They’re totally more than friends… (TK)
Spock, Kirk and Bones
Hannah: “Spock and Kirk have been shipped for forever. Personally, I’d rather see Spock and Bones together. Imagine the sexual tension and fiery rows!”
Steven: “It’s the 23rd century, I say break with traditional norms and allow Spock/Bones/Kirk to be a group marriage.”
Well, damn, that’s just perfect…
Xander Cage and Xiang, XXX: The Return of Xander Cage
They both know they are perfect for each other… (Tori)
Sean Archer and Castor Troy, Face/Off
Tori: “They just really understood each other better than anyone else, you know?”
Christian Grey and Riddick
Let’s free some of these characters from their own universes and introduce them to some new people! Seriously, Riddick could teach Christian a few things. If you don’t believe Steven on this one, have a look at these quotes from The Chronicles of Riddick and imagine them delivered in the Red Room…
Did you know you grind your teeth in your sleep… sexy.
It’s been a long time since I smelled beautiful.
Let me guess. A five-man crew this time.
It’s an animal thing.
I bow to no man.
And you plan on killing me with what, your mouth?
And we couldn’t resist a couple of IRL ones as well…
Gal Gadot and Chris Pine
Hannah: “This is purely because of that gif. You know the one.”
And finally, Queen Elizabeth and David Attenborough.
Tori: “This is based entirely on these photographs.”
Do you agree with our picks? Let’s keep playing matchmaker in the comments!