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Last Minute Christmas Gifts: Stocking Stuffer Boyfriends

By Emily Cutler | Lists | December 19, 2014 |

By Emily Cutler | Lists | December 19, 2014 |

Do you celebrate Christmas? Because if you’re anything like me, you’ve just today remembered that Christmas is in less than a week, and you’ve probably forgotten at least one person you needed to buy a gift for. But don’t worry! Because if you’re like me you’ve got plenty of Pocket Sized Boyfriends you can repurpose as Stocking Stuffer Boyfriends to give as gifts.

Simply take your standard Pocket Sized Boyfriend (hot guy shorter than the American male average of 5’10”), slap a bow or festive hat on him, and sit back and revel in your glory as Best Gift Giver Ever. If you’ve run out of your own PSB, feel free to use any from the Starter Pack below:

Martin Freeman - 5’6”
The “Classy, But A Bit Dangerous” Model

Charlie Day - 5’7”
The “He’s Smarter Than He Seems” Model

Kendrick Lamar - 5’6”
The “Hey, Internet, You Couldn’t Have Told Me That Kendrick Lamar Is Hot Before? I Had To Find Out On The Colbert Report? Like My Mother?” Model

Jeremy Allen White - 5’8”-ish
The “So Much More Than Just A Hot Bad Boy, But Still A Pretty Hot Bad Boy” Model
(Ok, this one might be cheating a little. But if you thought I was having a list of hot guys and not including Lip Gallagher, you haven’t been paying attention. I’m not able to verify White’s height, but Emmy Rossum is a confirmed 5’8”. I submit the first photo as evidence that White qualifies for PSB status.)
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Gael García Bernal - 5’6”
From The “So Pretty He’s Almost Too Pretty. Almost” Line
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Aziz Ansari - 5’6”
The “Treat. Yo. Self.” Model
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Daniel Radcliffe- 5’5”
The “Just Because He’s Not A Wizard Doesn’t Mean He Isn’t Magical” Model
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Michael Pena - 5’7”
From The “I Respect You As An Actor. Now Take Your Pants Off” Line
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John Stewart - 5’7”
The “Now With Colbert Gone, Help Us, John Stewart. You’re Our Only Hope” Model
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Andre Holland - less than 6’2”
The “I Don’t Really Have To Make A Doctor Joke, Right?” Model
(And this one is definitely pretty close to cheating. I’m not able to establish at all how tall Andre Holland is except to say it’s somewhere between Josh Gad at 5’6” and Clive Owen at 6’2”. Just eyeballing it, I say he can’t be taller than 5’9”. And I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for two reasons:
1.) This guy knows how to wear a turn of the century suit, and
2.) Having to work next to behemoth Clive Owen should bestow PSB status on almost anyone.)
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Steven Yeun - 5’9”
The “I Don’t Even Watch The Walking Dead, And Even I Know Maggie And Glenn Are The Best” Model
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James McAvoy - 5’6”
The HOF PSB Model
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H/T: Cox