Hey, Plastic 'American Sniper' Baby, Here Are 10 Other Inanimate Objects From Oscar Nominated Movies

By Jodi Smith | Lists | January 20, 2015 |

Listen Plastic Sniper Baby, I know that a lot of people are giving you grief for your appearance in the Oscar-nominated film American Sniper. They’re saying you are too plastic, too still, too shiny, too much of a fake baby and that you ruined an otherwise gripping scene with your presence.

I think you brought attention to the plight of all inanimate objects in Oscar-nominated movies. There are many other inanimate objects like you, Plastic Sniper Baby. Those who are unnoticed in film if all goes well and blamed if it all goes wrong. So take heart and start reaching out to these other inanimate objects in Oscar-caliber movies. They’ll embrace you gladly, if they have arms and if those arms are already in an embrace-like configuration.

1. The dick in Boogie Nights

“Yeah, that’s a big ol’ fake dick on Mark Wahlberg, but we like it.” - Paul Thomas Anderson

2. The Science Oven from American Hustle

“…you just buy it, she’s a lot of fun and she really conveys that in the film.” - Christian Bale

3. The boulder in 127 Hours

“I had pictures of him on my digital camera, and I was looking at them standing by the rock, and I took the camera and showed the rock the pictures of my son. It was like sharing.” - Aron Ralston

4. The glass of cranberry juice in The Departed

“It was one of the table scenes, yeah, and it was one of the most memorable moments of my life as far as being an actor is concerned. ” - Leonardo DiCaprio

5. The g-strings in The Full Monty

“…the most embarrassing moment of his acting career.” - Robert Carlyle

6. The cloth sack from The Elephant Man

“What he did is just glorious. His character is so fantastic.” - David Lynch

7. Nicole Kidman’s prosthetic nose from The Hours

“She’s the gold standard for every actress.” - Julianne Moore

8. That f*cking Merlot in Sideways

“Alexander is amazing at casting and not all directors are good at casting. But good directors are always good at casting. Thats why we worked so well together. He knew that we would. He knew that we would get along.” - Virginia Madsen

9. The bowling pin from There Will Be Blood

“Well, we spent a couple of months together in New York. I just remember a lot of eating breakfast and a lot of walking around, more or less getting to know each other and not talking that much about the movie—just this flirtation, like dogs sniffing each other out, to get to know somebody that you’re gonna get married to. We decided that we would make the film together, or more to the point, he decided that he would make the film with me.” - Paul Thomas Anderson