Look, I don’t know about you guys, but it’s Wednesday and North Korea is getting all nukey and I’m just tired. So I thought I’d share with you, my closest internet acquaintances, one of my favorite time-wasting activities: making up names for weird hybrid animals.
The rules are simple. Pick an animal. Then pick another animal that you think would sound cool if its name was combined into that of the first animal. The goal here isn’t so much about the “reality” of what the hybrid animal would look like, though coming up with a cool hybrid creature concept is a bonus. The goal really is just to come up with neat-sounding names. Names that could headline the next Syfy original movie (I’m pretty sure this game came about after a late-nite viewing session of Mansquito).
Names like Platypigeon.
I usually stick to actual creatures, but if your interests tend toward the cryptozoological then feel free to throw in a unicorn or two. For example, what would you call a unicorn crossed with a narwhal? A unicornarwhal? No, I’d call it a bicornarwhal, because obviously the hybrid would inherit the horns from both parents. I mean, duh.
So if you’re in the mood to stare at a wall, ignore your work emails, and hide inside your mental menagerie for a bit, join me! I’ll kick things off with a SERIOUSLY seriously random list of hybrid animal names, and you can add more in the comments. Remember, there is no winner. Except science, or maybe Syfy. If they take these hybrid suggestions seriously.
I usually start with variations of “lobster” as a warm-up, because the name combines well and also CLAWS:
Cowster (which sounds DELICIOUS)
Crocobster (or Lobsterdile, either one sounds like a fun/terrible time)
And then I move into the cute/creepy territory:
Morse (I think of it as a mouse-sized horse, but it could go either way way)
Sharkakapo (The Kakapo is a nocturnal, flightless, ground-dwelling parrot from New Zealand and I love it)
And then into the realm of shit that will kill you twice:
Vipulture (viper + vulture, because seriously flying death-snakes would be the worst)
Rattle Snark (snake + shark)
Brown Reclobster Spider (ok, there is more to be done with lobsters)
Anyway, you get the idea. What hybrid animals can you come up with?