It’s that time of year again. Pre-season football has begun and Fantasy Football leagues are gearing up for another season of shit-talking, punishment, and screwing each other over at every turn. Google+ is surely girding its loins for the influx of leagues that use their Hangouts to get drunk and draft teams live together, though they be separated by miles and countries and whatever the hell language Peanuts speaks. Or maybe that’s just the Murdertank League.
It’s a glorious time to be alive.
The most important thing about your Fantasy Football team isn’t your order in the draft (I’m 6th!) or whether you draft a kicker in the first round (someone did that, yes). It’s your team name. In the past I’ve had luck with Damn, That’s A Cold Ass Gronky and Punt SpeedChunk. Surprisingly, Rafi’s Murder Boner did not serve me well last season. This has led me to believe that more than luck, your QB, or your ability to stay quiet while you watch someone draft a player that’s out for the season, a good team name is the key to staying out of last place.
Alas, most of the names out there are either lame, almost too evil (even for me), or focused on Tom Brady and his magical deflating balls. That’s why I’m here to help with some more nerdy and pop culture focused Fantasy Football team names.
1. Suh-icide Squad
2. Unfrozen Caveman Quarterback
3. What Does John Fox Say
4. Cam Newton and the Shrimp Shack Shooters
5. Oh, Rexy, You’re So Hefty
6. Bears, Brats, Battlestar Galactica
7. DeMarco the Beast
8. Johnny Football and the Deathly Shallows
9. House Cutler: Interceptions Are Coming
10. 1.21 Giga-Watts
11. Wheaton Rainbow
12. Marshawn Science Theater 3000
13. I Am Gronk
14. Jeremy Maclin, FBI
15. Sanu Sanu
16. Helu, Is It Me You’re Looking For?
17. I’m Storm Johnson. I Own the Place
18. The Cobbadook
19. OH NO, NOT THE BREES! NOT THE BREES!
20. Tucker and Dale vs the AFC
Thanks to Steven and bleujayone for helping with the pics.