I don’t live in Boston, so I don’t know the pain of having The Wall spring up in my backyard after a couple hours of snowfall. I hear the city is thick with White Walkers attempting to get jobs at Wahlburgers, but that might be a rumor.
Here in my state, we aren’t surrounded by snow, but we’re still damned tired of it. We’ve come to think that 30 degrees is a warm day. Any day without an accumulation of ice is a success. Snowmen are outliving their welcome and devouring local flora and fauna. It’s a terrible thing that I’ve attempted to overcome through self-imposed agoraphobia. It isn’t working, so I’ve searched Netflix for movies that take place in summer.
Here are 8 flicks to help you feel warm…inside and out!
This movie is perfect if you want to remember working at an amusement park and how you had to compete with Ryan Reynolds for your summer love’s affections.
2. Hot Rod
You did so many sweet stunts that summer, man! You landed a hot girl, saved your step-dad, and made THE RADIO. I mean, that was the best summer EVER, right?
Aw, man. Do you remember reinforcing the floor under the bulk of your depressed and severely overweight mother with your fast food obsessed buddy? Or how you fell in love with a girl too young for you and also traumatized your mentally challenged brother with a bath?
Watch Dirty Dancing and reminisce about the first time you learned about back alley abortions, older men, and overcoming your fear of familial disappointment.
5. Stand By Me
Every kid has that amazing summer journey where they see a dead body and learn about the terrible home life of their buddies, right? It’s a good time, right?
Do you remember how all of those strippers at the Titty Twister turned out to be murderous vampires? Now where do the kids go for so many different kinds of p*ssy? I tell you, that place had a real theme going until the massacre.
A lot of people died that summer at Camp Crystal Lake. I heard it was that kid that drowned there twenty years ago. That summer was fun with all of the debauchery, but the murders were pretty terrible. Really terrible.
Then there was the summer that you and your friends fell in love with the Lisbon girls down the street. Oh, how you loved to watch them in their supposed perfection…and how you mourned when they started dropping like flies.
I…f*ck you too, summer. Damn.