The top eleven quotes from this week’s “No Reservations,” an honorarium to roughneck Boston, Southie, circa 1973. …Otherwise known as “the latest reasons I love Tony Bourdain.”
11. “When you’re in Southie, well, it’s Boston, but it ain’t.”
10. “As television professionals, all we have to do is drink for the rest of the afternoon.”
9. “Sometimes a thing becomes a cliche because it’s just so damn good.”
8. “The drink of choice here is alcohol. There’s beer. And whiskey, apparently. And oh yeah, this, a mix of Jagermeister and Red Bull that’s just wrong. But not nearly as wrong as this stuff — Dr. McGillicuddy. More like Dr. Kevorkian, in effect.”
7. After losing at a game of candlepin bowling (the stupidest game evah, in my humble opinion) by 51 points and buying beers for the winning locals: “I spray paint Bucky Dent’s name on the men’s room stall on the way out but it’s small satisfaction after the anal rampage on the lanes.”
6. “And though, personally, I thought Robin Williams unforgivably fucked that film [Good Will Hunting] they shot here [Woody’s], I do love the company and the complimentary beef stew.”
5. “I support fully all adult American’s right to eat themselves to death — it’s pretty much what I’m doing for a living.”
4. “Now, I love corn beef hash — just love it — especially when it’s not your canned cat food variety. The stuff here is a delightful blend of corn beef, potatoes, and peppers. Throw some runny eggs on top and I am all over that.”
Me too, Tony.
3. “And the Peter Yates film version [of The Friends of Eddie Coyle] with Robert Mitchum shot in the early 70’s is, well, something of an obsession with me.”
Me too, Tony. Me too.
2. “You know that stuff that they call Manhattan Clam Chowder. It’s not a chowder, it’s a soup.”
“Ha ha ha, ha ha ha … show-der, show-der? It’s chow-dah, say it right!”
1. Slurringly drunk mid-afternoon — as one should be in Southie — discussing the difficulties of finding a good place to shit while on the road : “There’s nothing like you can pull up into a gas station with a little convenience store and a bathroom and there’s one person rolling the hot dogs on the thing and you walk in and, you know, you’re running and you run right into the bathroom and you make some horrifying fucking explosive noise. You come out of there knowing that this terrifying waaaaaft, this stench, is going to follow you out the door and you’re like on your way and you’re like ‘hey sorr- hey thanks,’ what do you do, say thanks?”
Bonus quote, from a local asked what the perfect hangover breakfast is: “Vodka.”