A Very Serious Ranking of the Best Celebrity Butt Chins
The cleft chin is an inherited trait, most common to people from Europe and the Middle East. It results from a fissure in the underlying jaw bone, the fissure itself arising as a consequence of the incomplete fusion of the two constituent jaw bones during early development.
A cleft chin can make a person look distinguished, memorable, and often quite old-timey handsome.
It’s also commonly referred to, naturally, as the ‘butt chin’. There is a fairly healthy contingent of actors out there, rocking the butt chin with confidence and verve. It’s high time we ranked them.
Or, in the words of my illustrious colleague Kristy: ‘Time to give some lusty love to the butt of the face.’
‘nuff said, really. Let’s do this thing.
20. Miles Teller
Miles Teller has a butt chin but I refuse to include a picture of Miles Teller here because I only just got this laptop fixed and it hasn’t got fist insurance.
19. Henry Cavill
Look, I don’t like Cavill. I think he’s a posho with an entirely too-limited range. So I was gonna leave him and his admittedly quite marvelous butt chin off this list entirely, just out of spite. But he was so damn good in Mission Impossible: Fallout that I let him sneak back on here. A revelation that, I am sure, will let him finally sleep well tonight. On his bed of awful opinions.
18. Colin Firth
I’m not much of a Firth fan either, but credit where credit is due: That is a pretty solid butt chin. Good length, solid positioning, decent indentation. Just an all around good posh bum chin, really. (Dibs on ‘Good Posh Bum Chin’ for my prog rock band name.)
17. Aaron Eckhart
Aaron Eckhart’s butt chin is weapons-grade. For most people, when they grow some facial hair, the butt chin tends to recede, like a shy racoon confronted by torchlight. Not Eckhart’s. That dude’s butt chin is a goddamn honey badger. Vicious, angry, and ready to take on all comers.
16. Ben Affleck
The Affleck butt chin is a striking sight, but these days our Ben often conceals it beneath a thick, bushy layer of beard. Usually, when the beard’s not around and the butt chin is allowed out to play, it’s one of the defining features of the actor’s face. Some would say for better. Some for worse. I don’t really care either way.
15. Kurt Cobain
Ah, Kurt. You left us too soon, man. I grew up on Nirvana. Your music helped me become who I am today (sorry, I love hair metal too now!). And you know what? You had a damn good butt chin too.
14. Alexander Skarsgard
I dunno if you lot have noticed, but some folks around here have a bit of a thing
for the Skarsgards. Personally, I don’t see it. I liked Alexander in Generation Kill
, but other than that the only Skarsgard I’d stan for (am I using that word right?! I literally only heard it the other day) is my man Stellan. I mean, look at Alex up there. He looks like a sweaty real estate agent. Nevertheless, his butt chin game is pretty on point, and that’s what we’re here for today.
13. Laurence Olivier
I bet it is, Laurence! Look at that thing. The Olivier butt chin is sharp. Like the man’s wit. It’s good stuff, but probably dangerous in crowded situations.
12. Andy Samberg
Andy Samberg’s butt chin seems to be in cahoots with the rest of his features to maximise his comedic impact. It’s all rubbery, hyper expressive stuff, reminiscent of Jim Carrey in a way, and that functional butt chin of his certainly helps things along.
11. Christina Hendricks
I bet if you asked most people what physical characteristic they associate with Christina Hendricks, nine times out of ten ‘butt chin’ would definitely be the answer. That’s how she fooled and seduced Mal after all! Subtle, mysterious. Hendrick’s is a good butt chin.
10. Like, everyone in Dollhouse
9. Dan Hedaya
Dan Hedaya has been butt-chinning the world of film and TV for four decades. And we are blessed for his work. Oftentimes the Hedaya butt chin is grown over by heavy stubble, but it is such a formidable natural structure that nothing short of a full-on wizard beard could possibly hope to contain its raw power.
8. Sandra Bullock
Sandra Bullock, America’s sweetheart and one of the most easily likeable screen presences around, boasts a great butt chin. It works perfectly in tandem with the rest of her face. A lovely symmetrical jawline leads down to this slight indentation at its base that seems to say, ‘Hey, I’m Sandra Bullock. It’s impossible to not love me.’
7. John Travolta
Look at that damn thing. Young Travolta was a striking sight. Not least because of that insouciant, cocky dimple in his chin. Some people’s butt chins are incidental to their faces, an afterthought. Not so Travolta. That face was built around that butt chin. That butt chin pointed the way forward, and it set the agenda, make no mistake about it.
‘What his right name is I’ve never heard, but around here, some call him ‘Strider’. Others, the ‘butt chin that caused a thousand pregnancies’.’
5. Cary Grant
Classics be classics, you know. Look at that classy sonofabitch. In a pose that would make lesser men and their butt chins look ridiculous. But no, there he lies sprawled, gormless face of folded leather, a butt chin for the ages speaking of wisdom and leather-bound books.
4. Kirk Douglas
I mean. This might be the butt chin that begat all the other butt chins. Ones that came after, and ones that came before. You can see that bitch from space. Something something Mariana trench.
3. Jon Bon Jovi
Look, the man’s gorgeous, alright? Inside and out. Did you know he runs kitchens for the poor? He doesn’t publicise it too much. That’s because he’s subtle. Subtle and gorgeous. Like his butt chin. Also, did you know that ‘Bad Medicine’ is one of the greatest songs ever written? It’s true. God said so.
2. Emily Blunt
Once upon a time I thought men couldn’t get pregnant. Those were simpler times. Pre-Edge of Tomorrow
times. Off the top of my head it’s never really explained in the movie why those aliens came to invade our planet. But I know. It was to come pay rabid, fawning tribute to Emily Blunt and her wondrous, perfect butt chin. Who could even hope to top that?
1. Paul Newman
Ah. Oh yeah. Of course.
For god’s sake, Newman, man! Leave something for the rest of us. You greedy, genetically superior, splendorously-butt chin-ed creation.
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