World renowned shit weasel Martin Shkreli was arrested today for securities fraud. It was like an early holiday gift for people annoyed with his arrogance and unapologetic dick moves in pharmaceuticals. Rarely has the arrest of a smarmy garbage fire of a person been so satisfying. If Shkreli’s arrest is a full-blown dance number from Slumdog Millionaire, then the following arrests are Alan’s “Who Let the Dogs Out” moves from The Hangover.
1. Chris Brown
On March 5, 2009, Brown was charged with felony assault and making criminal threats. AKA beating up then-girlfriend Rihanna. Brown continues to be arrested, as he is a garbage person made of anger.
2. Joe Francis
The gross founder of Girls Gone Wild has had so many legal troubles that Wikipedia has it divided into Civil, Criminal (State), and Criminal (Federal). Once again, so many chances to see a dirtbag get the cuffs slapped on his filthy wrists.
3. Mel Gibson
Once a handsome and beloved star of screen, Gibson began his path to crazy when arrested on suspicion of DUI on July 28, 2006. After hurling slurs at the officers and seeing his public abuse of then-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, which also included racist slurs, it didn’t hurt our feelings to see him arrested.
4. Charlie Sheen
Ugh, this guy. Drug problems, domestic assaults and abuse, property damage, and making Two and A Half Men.
5. Sean Penn
I’ll just point you HERE.
6. Rush Limbaugh
How delicious was it for Limbaugh to be arrested for doctor shopping in Florida? The loud-mouthed ass suffered from an addiction to prescription pills, which one could empathize with if Limbaugh had ever shown an ounce of humanity toward anyone else in his life.