Sometimes you have such a terrible day that you want to set everything ablaze with a flamethrower and a bunch of those cute little firestarter logs. Then you think that you might be too soft for jail, remember that your flamethrower hasn’t been delivered by Amazon drone, notice your nail polish is already chipped, and decide instead to live vicariously through violent film characters. For me, today is that day. The day I turn my impotent rage into a movie marathon. Viva la Netflix!
Kylie Bucknall (Morgana O’ Reilly) punches, kicks, grates, and snarks her way through house arrest in her mother’s house. After an ATM robbery gone ridiculously wrong, Kylie is released into her mother’s (Rima Te Wiata) custody and her home. The thing is, Mom’s house might be haunted.
This insane film is based loosely on one of, if not the most, famous prisoner in Britain: Michael Gordon Peterson/Charles Bronson/Charles Salvador (Tom Hardy). Bronson is an orgy of violence and stunning visuals that pull the viewer into the brain of a career criminal superstar.
Turkish (Jason Statham) and Tommy (Stephen Graham) need to get off of Brick Top’s (Alan Ford) pig list, so they recruit Pikey boxer Mickey (Brad Pitt) to throw a boxing match. There’s also a stolen diamond, an enforcer named Bullet-Tooth Tony (Vinnie Jones), and violence for days.
Before Schwarzenegger further ruins the franchise with Terminator: Revenge of the Pepaw Robots this summer, re-live the perfection of the gloriously violent 1991 high point of Edward Furlong’s life. The Terminator isn’t allowed to kill anyone, but Sarah Conner made no such promises. FINGER PICK TO THE BRAIN!
You know why. The first Saw was a refreshingly new take on horror and remains the best outing in the overlong series of films.