I would like to start by telling you that this is TK’s fault.
Did you know that the sequels and reboots we actually cover on the site (when we aren’t being the #1 Michael Jackson Fan Site) are just the tip of the shit iceberg? Oh, kids. I have wonderful, terrible things to show you.
Honey - 2003
This forgettable Jessica Alba dance movie spawned two sequels. TWO. And they were all directed by the same man: Bille Woodruff.
Honey 2 stars Kat Graham (The Vampire Diaries) and Honey 3 stars Cassie Ventura (???). There is dancing. There is redemption. There is passion.
Midnight Run - 1988
This two-hander starred Robert DeNiro and Charles Grodin as a bounty hunter and former mafia accountant running from basically everyone. It has three sequels.
Christopher McDonald takes over the Jack Walsh role vacated by DeNiro in the three television movies: Another Midnight Run, Midnight Runaround, and Midnight Run for Your Life. They sound like Midnight Shit.
The Cutting Edge - 1992
D.B. Sweeney’s assy hockey player and Moira Kelly’s uptight ice skater fall in love in this movie that I hate, but understand other people love. It has three sequels. FUN FACT: These are directed by the same dude who did a sequel to War Games. Oh, there’s a sequel to War Games.
The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold (the daughter of the original characters teams up with someone also stubborn); The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream (stubborn rich boy partners with waitress); The Cutting Edge: Fire & Ice (waitress from last movie teams up with a new stubborn dude).
FUNNER FACT: The third sequel has Green Arrow’s Stephen Amell and Brendan Fehr from Roswell.
Bring It On - 2000
I think we all know that the first movie is fantastic. It stars Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Gabrielle Union, and Clare Kramer. Alas, there are FOUR SEQUELS.
Bring It On Again stars, uh, let’s see. Bree Turner (Grimm). There. Okay. The second one is Bring It On: All Or Nothing and it stars Hayden Panettiere and SOLANGE. Bring It On: In It to Win It has Ashley Benson (Pretty Little Liars). Bring It On: Fight to the Finish
when I eats my spinach stars Christina Milian (she’s a singer!).
All of these involve cheerleaders overcoming things and cheering and winning and losing and learning and loving. I assume.
Wild Things - 1998
AKA That Time We Saw Kevin Bacon’s Meat. The first movie was Skinamax masquerading as a real-budget film that people loved because of the aforementioned meat, Denise Richards’ boobs, and Richards kissing Neve Campbell in a pool. I guess the plot existed. Anyway, this thing has three sequels. I can only assume that each one is more soft core pornier than the last.
Wild Things 2 has an amazing synopsis: “Sequel to the hot film Wild Things, Wild Things 2 sees teenage bad girls Maya and Britney go on a sex and killing spree to win millions.” The only name I recognized from this turd is Isaiah Washington (Grey’s Anatomy).
Wild Things: Diamonds in the Rough has another priceless synopsis: “Two young women will stop at nothing for one to gain a $4 million inheritance of two priceless diamonds, while two detectives try to thwart their plans, but find complications abound.” There are no recognizable names. But ohhhh, Wild Things: Foursome has former O-Town band member Ashley Parker Angel in it, so you KNOW it’s good.