I’ve talked about my struggles with anxiety and panic in this space many times. I’ve expressed my fear of the results of the 2016 Presidential Election. Last night, my worst fears came true and I awoke to a country that voted to further divide itself along race, gender, wealth, and religious lines. I thought I would be unable to function. I thought that leaving the house would be impossibility because I would be irretrievably broken.
I was only half right.
Last night’s election results have broken me, but not in the way some people were expecting or even hoping. I am not afraid. I am not a sobbing mess. I am not drowning my sorrows in alcohol or prescribed medication for panic attacks that, surprisingly, never came.
I am now awake for the first time in years. I am unafraid. Instead of crippling nerves and sickness, there is fire and rebirth. There is a renewed sense of purpose to tear down the racist, white, patriarchal control that uses fear and ignorance to bully anyone that doesn’t fit their definition of an American.
If you are here, on American soil, and you are working for a better life, you are an American. If you are paying your taxes and tirelessly working to help those less fortunate than you, you are an American. If you think that the status quo is outmoded and exclusionary, then you are an American. If you are ready to fight for rights for all Americans and not just those with a narrow worldview, then I am with you.
I am not afraid. I am coming for those that would keep me quiet. I will be the change I want to see in the world. I will make sure my daughter, all of our daughters and sons, understand that helping others is how we help ourselves.
You wanted a nasty woman? You got one.