By Kristy Puchko | Politics | September 4, 2015 |
By Kristy Puchko | Politics | September 4, 2015 |
Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis has taken a stand against marriage equality, refusing to acknowledge the SCOTUS decision that’s legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. She’s not only refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, but also has been blocking her deputies from doing so. (Though she did unknowingly issue one to a trans man, because even self-righteous garbage-people have off days.)
Davis can’t be fired because she was elected to the job she refuses to do. But she can—and has!—be thrown into jail for contempt of court. And through all this, this grim 49-year-old Democrat has snagged the national spotlight as a polarizing figure. Supporters of “traditional marriage” “religious freedom” government-sanctioned homophobia see Davis as a patriot. Among that camp is Presidential wannabe/ Ellen Page-nemesis Ted Cruz.
I stand with Kim Davis. Add your name if you do too: https://t.co/zyBRG91OXG https://t.co/df3vURucZ4
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) September 4, 2015
Others categorize Davis’s behavior as “defiant.”
Around these parts, we just call her a bigot.
While the nation debates what Davis’s stand means, whether it’s noble or whether it’s putting her on the wrong side of history (spoiler: it’s the latter), we’d like to focus on the joy Davis’s behavior has brought us. Because it’s Friday, and also fuck her hypocritical “been married and divorced three times, had children out of wedlock, but will judge you for your gay ‘lifestyle’” ass.
The Twitter parody account Sitnexto Kim Davis allows us to consider the plight of an unsung victim in all this mayhem, the poor unidentified co-worker who has to deal with Davis and her bullshit every day. Behold her struggle!
GODDAMN IT, KIM, I CAN'T DICK AROUND ON FACEBOOK WITH FUCKING ANDERSON COOPER WAVING A CAMERA IN MY FACE!!! #KimDavis
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
#KimDavis says her biblical views means she gets a whole fucking shelf in the break room fridge.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
#KimDavis lawyers from @libertycounsel ARE DRINKING MY DIET MOUNTAIN DEWS. I BRING THAT SHIT FROM HOME
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
HEY, @MountainDew - CAN YOU SEND OVER SOME DIET DEW? MINE GOT DRANK "BECAUSE OF FREEDOM" HERE'S A PROMO PIC U CAN USE pic.twitter.com/HL0eUo4j8u
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
.@Sevren425 No deoderant. Not because of God. Husband #4 just "likes the musk." #KimDavis is very clear that he likes the goddamn musk.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
See, #KimDavis? A WEEK AGO, I WAS OKAY JUST BEING "KENTUCKY HOT." NOW I HAVE TO BE FUCKING AMERICA HOT. https://t.co/eZlPDb6t8j
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
The best thing about #KimDavis court date tomorrow? I'm taking a fucking 90 minute lunch.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
No, #KimDavis if I bring you a casserole in prison, I will FUCKING NOT make it according to Leviticus. Just appreciate the gesture.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
#KimDavis - DID GOD ORDER YOU NOT TO REFILL THE XEROX TRAY, TOO? GODDAMN IT SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GO HOME TO OUR FIRST HUSBAND
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
Hey, @oreillyfactor - see you at work in the morning. PARK IN THE HANDICAPPED SPOT AGAIN AND I'LL KEY YOUR VAN. pic.twitter.com/KcwxOq0IEa
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
We all agreed that if #KimDavis falls in love and wants to marry her cell mate, we'll let her, but we're going to be dicks about it.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
.@gaynewsradio I WILL MARRY YOU TO ANYTHING YOU GODDAMN WANT TO MARRY. BRING DIET DEW
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
H/T The New York Times, NBC News
Kristy Puchko hopes Kim Davis inspires a new Orange Is The New Black character.