The Best Thing To Come Out Of This Kim Davis Business
Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis has taken a stand against marriage equality, refusing to acknowledge the SCOTUS decision that’s legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. She’s not only refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, but also has been blocking her deputies from doing so. (Though she did unknowingly issue one to a trans man, because even self-righteous garbage-people have off days.)
Davis can’t be fired because she was elected to the job she refuses to do. But she can—and has!—be thrown into jail for contempt of court. And through all this, this grim 49-year-old Democrat has snagged the national spotlight as a polarizing figure. Supporters of
“traditional marriage” “religious freedom” government-sanctioned homophobia see Davis as a patriot. Among that camp is Presidential wannabe/ Ellen Page-nemesis Ted Cruz.
Around these parts, we just call her a bigot.
While the nation debates what Davis’s stand means, whether it’s noble or whether it’s putting her on the wrong side of history (spoiler: it’s the latter), we’d like to focus on the joy Davis’s behavior has brought us. Because it’s Friday, and also fuck her hypocritical “been married and divorced three times, had children out of wedlock, but will judge you for your gay ‘lifestyle’” ass.
The Twitter parody account Sitnexto Kim Davis allows us to consider the plight of an unsung victim in all this mayhem, the poor unidentified co-worker who has to deal with Davis and her bullshit every day. Behold her struggle!
GODDAMN IT, KIM, I CAN'T DICK AROUND ON FACEBOOK WITH FUCKING ANDERSON COOPER WAVING A CAMERA IN MY FACE!!! #KimDavis— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
#KimDavis says her biblical views means she gets a whole fucking shelf in the break room fridge.— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
The best thing about #KimDavis court date tomorrow? I'm taking a fucking 90 minute lunch.— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
No, #KimDavis if I bring you a casserole in prison, I will FUCKING NOT make it according to Leviticus. Just appreciate the gesture.— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
#KimDavis - DID GOD ORDER YOU NOT TO REFILL THE XEROX TRAY, TOO? GODDAMN IT SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GO HOME TO OUR FIRST HUSBAND— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
We all agreed that if #KimDavis falls in love and wants to marry her cell mate, we'll let her, but we're going to be dicks about it.— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
.@gaynewsradio I WILL MARRY YOU TO ANYTHING YOU GODDAMN WANT TO MARRY. BRING DIET DEW— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
Kristy Puchko hopes Kim Davis inspires a new Orange Is The New Black character.