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Judge Rules MAGA Is Not A Religion

By Kristy Puchko | Politics | April 26, 2018 |

By Kristy Puchko | Politics | April 26, 2018 |


Getting thrown out of a bar is an embarrassing thing. Often it happens because you’ve been acting like a jackass. And that’s exactly what happened to 31-year-old Philadelphia accountant Greg Piatek when he wore a Make America Great Again ballcap to a West Village bar shortly after Donald Trump’s inauguration in January of 2017. Most of us might holler in indignation when we’re ousted over jackassery, and awake the next morning with due shame. But not Piatek. He decided to take the Happiest Hour Bar to court for discrimination.

Yes, dude sued because a bartender refused to serve him unless he removed his hat. Piatek claimed discrimination and in his complaint declared the incident “offended his sense of being American.”

Yesterday, the case went to court, where the Happiest Hour Bar’s attorney Elizabeth Conway won by pointing out that discrimination laws defend against the persecution of people based on religious beliefs, adding, “supporting Trump is not a religion.”

We assume drinks for Conway are on the house for life now.

The New York Post reports that Piatek’s lawyer tried to counter by saying the accountant was wearing the inflammatory headgear because he’d come from visiting Manhattan’s 9/11 memorial and, “He was paying spiritual tribute to the victims of 9/11. The Make American Great Again hat was part of his spiritual belief.”

Formally, on behalf of the people of New York, allow me to say to Piatek:

You think Trump is a good symbol for respect of the survivors of 9/11, Piatek? You mean the guy who used that national tragedy to brag on television that now his property was the tallest in lower Manhattan? Because we never forget.

“40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually before the World Trade Center the tallest, and then when they built the World Trade Center it became known as the second-tallest, and now it’s the tallest.”

That’s not spiritual. It’s fucking stupid. And the judge said as much, but in a more diplomatic way. Justice David Cohen tossed Piatek’s complaint and called it “petty.”

As you might have guessed, Trump fans are calling for a boycott of the bar and trying to trash its yelp review.

I suspect in a city that widely favored for Hillary Rodham Clinton and regularly holds massive anti-Trump protests, the Happiest Hour will be just fine. Meanwhile, I’m planning my next group hang there.

(Note: the man in the Getty Images photo above is not Greg Piatek. You can see his photo at the New York Post.)